Does no-one want to hear a story? 
I'll tell one anyway! This is probably the best one 
When my dad was a kid he had this cat called Silvester Stuart The 3rd (named after this guy who sang "don't call me whitie nigger" weird) anyway there was this dog on the corner it was a medium to large labrodor(sp)
and my dad said it chased after him all the time. Well one day my dad was looking for his cat and he saw it at the end of the corner and it was on the labrodors head and my dad said that the dog was running around eventually his cat fell off and my dad said that the dog had scratch marks all over its face and then after that the dog never chased my dad again. Pretty cool huh? My dad also said that it killed some small dogs and snakes as well.
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The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. -- Jack Handy
That stuff only happens in the movies. -- Famous Last Words
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