[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

...taken from patients' charts around North America.

• The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
  
• Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
  
• Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
  
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
  
• The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
  
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  
• The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
  
• Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
  
• She is numb from her toes down.
  
• While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
  
• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
  
• The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
  
• Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
  
• Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
  
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  
• When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
  
• Male patient insists that his HIV was inherited, and not from sexual activity.