Jesus Christ, you gave me an excellent excuse to say something bizarre.
Name: Llamanism
Key points:
- Llamas are gods
- Treat llamas as if they are the most sacred thing. Even Jesus is less sacred than the lowliest llama.
- Grow alfalfa on your land, nothing else
- If you kill a llama, you will be sacrificed. Slowly.
- Llama spit is the nectar of life
- Every day, at five am and pm you must bow to the south (or north, if you are south of the equator), and recite 'May you live in happines and peace, great llamas', because everyone knows llamas live closest to the equator
- When you die, you must use your remains to feed the alfalfa fields
- Our religious leaders are people who were llamas breeders BEFORE this religion was widespread. And you know it will be.
- We will worship a giant gold llama in Puerto Rico. (Accepting donations now! Anything less than 100 dollars will make us kill you and your family!)
This religion was inspired by a video I had to watch during Spanish class on South America. EVERY shot had at least one llama in it, i'm not kidding.
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