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Since I'm a big meany necro I'm gonna dig up the corpse of the Joke thread and bang it for a while
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam and a CIA agent comes up to him and asks him to roll down his window. The man says to the driver that the President has been kidnapped and unless a trillion dollars is given to the kidnappers the president will be doused in gasoline and lit on fire. He asks the driver for a donation. The driver asks "So, whats been the standard donation?" The agent replies, "Oh, 'bout half a gallon."
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Ah the bliss of humour that should become reality.