[Abeguy]

Ok, I'll admit, this one had a bit of pre thinking. a couple of hours ago at work that is. couldn't get to a comp

Why I don't write for Children
"Why do you ever write poems for children?" some people often ask.
"I know the kids will simply love it, These poems will make them laugh."
"Y'know," I say, "I've tried to write for children, that's no lie."
"But when I try to write funny poems, it makes the kiddies cry."

I write hilarious tidbits about dead puppies, covered in mud.
I even write the cutest little limericks about Bugs Bunny torturing Elmer Fudd.
I don't get it, why the kiddies never seem to giggle,
when I tell them little stories about strangled kittens who will never wiggle.

That. Is why, I don't write poems for Children.

And so they say, "Okay, I see, sorry that I brought it up."
"But what about short stories or articles. The kids will eat'em up!"
"Y'know," I say, "I've tried that too, And I'll explain since you implored."
"I've also tried that story thing, but the childs, well, they got bored."

I'd write amazing thrillers about the monotonus man.
Who fought bad guys with his robot voice, and with a plain, human hand.
But the children never got into it, and I swear I heard a snore.
And so after that little adventure, little stories, I wrote no more.

And THAT. Is why I don't write stories for kiddies.

"Y'know," they say, "Just maybe, The written word just ain't for you"
"Have you tried the movies, maybe the G rated audience would then ensue."
"You just don't get it" I'd say to them, "I've tried the entire batch,"
"I did go into the movie buisness but the parents wouldn't let them watch."

Pubic Pete and Vaginal Vanessa and their adventures I taped and taped.
But when the Movie rating company saw it, the whole idea was raped.
They said it was inappropriate, they insulted the entire project.
And that's when I thought, just maybe, JUST maybe, that for children's media, I was a reject.

So that's my story, Accept it if you want, but that explains my 'tude.
That when I tried to write for children, well, some people are just rude