ooc: sorry about this Slaveless, and Munch's Master, but I brought this can of worms to your picnic, and by Odd I'm going to open it!
ic: Wash rested his face in his big green hands and cried. He was exhausted, so much had happened to him recently, and he needed to catch up. Unhelpfully, Linc was still dying, so he couldn't rest yet.
He glared at the LCD screen, as if this were all somehow its fault.
"ONLY ONE GRUESOME MEAT-GRINDER RELATED ACCIDENT ALL DAY! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!" it stated cheerfully.
Wash stood up and stamped his feet angrily. He was determined that a little poison gas would not stop him. He assumed the gas was poisonous. And he knew only one way to protect himself.
"Man... I'll never here the end of this...
Wash tore off the last scraps of his loincloth and urinated on them. Desperate times call for desperate measures. A passing security orb noticed him as it came by. Staring, it crashed into a wall, but couldn't take its eye off the bizarre scene unfolding before it. Wash still couldn't hear the crash, but he noticed the red glow of the orb's eye.
"Hey- get out of here!" he angrily waved it away. The last thing he needed was a recording of this to reach upper management, or indeed any of the employees. Luckily, the orb was still too confused to zap him, and floated away, beeping to itself excitedly.
Wash picked up the dripping rag and wringed out some of the urine into Linc's wound in an attempt to sterilise it. He the tore it in half and laid one over Linc's mouth. He'd heard somewhere that urine helped to filter poisonous gasses from the air. Wash then pushed Linc into the elevator and slammed his fist into the wall. A panel fell down, revealing a control panel, and he attempted to override the emergency lockdown commands. He described to Linc what he was doing, despite both being deaf and Linc being unconscious.
"Stay with me Linc... you don't become RFDD's most guarded employee without learning one or two things about the Magog Cartel's facilities network! Look at this, if I can reroute the command chain around the hazard detectors upstairs... I'll have to provide a phantom venting command, that'll make it think the air has been pumped outside... wait a minute- is that someone climbing into the air vent? That's crazy! The lab's air tanks are contaminated! Why is there anyone still there with the gas?" Then Wash realised that he'd been counting on there being someone up there to help Linc. "Right, never mind. But the connection to the ventilation controls is severed. Argh! This would be so much easier with a security spike, and- wha? We're in! Now to just... pure Palooka! We're in business!"
The elevator lurched, then steadily rose upwards.
"Just a little further, big guy. You'll be alright soon..."
Wash raised the cloth to his mouth in preparation for any gas that they might encounter, forgetting that he was completely naked. The elevator doors opened at the labs.
"Medical emergency!"
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