[Havoc]

It's the attack of the Wallmart! Sorry I couldn't resist that XD. Where did you get Wallmart from, thats hilarious XD.

Anyway, you have a pretty decent writing style and I guess this could turn out to be a decent story. But take some advice from me and finnish your chapters before you post them. Most of us rather read a nice long good worked out chapter, instead of a rushed unfinnished chapter with a lot of plot holes in it just because you wanted to have it out fast. Take your time on writing and don't let fans presure you. Thats hard sometimes, but it will boost your story's quality.