EDIT:
Oh no! I am da salant man nd I live in a 'ouse, nd I'm creepeh, and woah it's like rate sick (lol)! And theres horrible fings happnin so I'm got creepy fingers.
Oh no it looks like theres a dog commin 'ere so I'm going to touch his willy. Your willy feels like papercuts on my hand 'n all I rate like that, so let's go play chess Mr. Dog.
And so the old man and the cat played chess, until someone ate the board. OMG! U JST ATD da bord, nd it was the LOLZOrZ! lolololololololooooo
Oh no! It appears I have run out of WASIN POWEDERS so I've got to the shop wot sells it.
LMAO
My washing machines made by DYSON.
This is my car what I bort what I drive this to the shops when I'm getting my tables for discount prices cos I used to work at the table shop and I get discoutns there.
In the shop
Oh no look it's Hunbert Cumberdanes under, he is also in da shop.
MY NAME IS JERRY JACKSONS and I have made car2n 4 u at fatpies.
Hello Mr. Salad Man, what have you borted from da shop? I have bort some cigs and also some shampoons for my hair, what is your favourite shampoo Mr. Salad Man? my favorite shmapoo is VOS. It is good for natural strainght and buety. Waht have you bort Hunber Cumberdanes- my shaMPOO IUS VINDAL SASSON cos it has extra body and shine.
To be continued...