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all it has done is made me hate my mam (as she is the only one I live with now, my dad lives elsewhere) and hate the house I live in. And I feel as bad as Rex, wanting to just end it all, or at least leave my house for good and get rid of her
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I agree with rexy scaring your child makes them hate the parent. ... Now I wish he can just die and burn up in hell. No i'm serious. My dad can be nice but he has SUCH a short temper I tend to stay away from him.
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Which is why I disagree with using violence as a form of discipline.
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I don't approve of hitting your kids for whatever reason, but not stating the reason. Same goes for screaming. If you punish a kid. Tell him why, otherwise, like Rexy says, he won't know what he did wrong.
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Yeah, I was actually talking to my friend about this topic a while ago. This is what she said:
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That was what my father used to do. He'd spank me, but then after, he'd explain to me why. He'd tell me what I did wrong and why I shouldn't do it again. He'd hug me too and say he loved me. That made everything better and I wasn't tempted to do what I did wrong again, out of respect for my Dad. I had a great father-daughter relationship with my Dad.
My Mom, on the other hand, was different. She'd spank me hard and just tell me I did something wrong without even explaining to me what. That only made me confused and frightful. Being around her was like holding a fragile egg with one finger. I wouldn't do anything much whenever she was around for fear of being spanked for a reason I neither knew nor understood. Even now, I'm still afraid of her. Actually, I'm terrified of her. We talk, shop, and even joke with each other, but my fear of her still lingers. I don't think we'll ever have a healthy mother-daughter relationship.
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Then the issue becomes one of how to determine what's best for the individual child. I'm no expert, but I think a ban of smacking children is stupid. It does work, just not all the time
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Wasn't smacking children a controversial issue in the House Of Commons* a while ago? [* - Place where all the british political people go to talk about politics.] I think that the current law is that you can hit a child, as long as it doesn't leave a mark. But you can still hit a child hard without it bruising.
I don't agree with you Maxy, I don't think that violence helps anything. I think that violence as a form of punishment is an outdated method of discipline. I feel we [the world as we know it] has entered a more child friendly era, what with children's TV {Wasn't that only instated 15 or 20 years ago?}, schools becoming healthier environments and more rights for children {as in it is not the general belief that children are seen and not heard, and that all children have rights to safety, etc}. So I think that smacking children should be left in the 1930s where it belongs.
But yes, it could work for the individual child. But I think other forms of punishment could suffice just as well.
- Rexy