Tis good, but as you asked for suggestions I'll give em.
First off, I would make Crump more ignorant of dangers out of the water, things like scrabs, paramites and industrials would be less of a wory and more of a myth for creatures that rarely left the water. That's the way I see it, you don't have to listen to me.
Secondly, don't forget for the next chapter or so that all of Crump's family has just been killed! He just watched his brother killed but pitied the slig when it died more. Bare it in mind.
Still, it's very good, I'm looking forward to seeing this story go in some interesting directions!
|