:
"Sir what if he does not live through that?" "Why woulden't he?" "Lack of air sir." "It does not matter he's just another soul for the master to feast in."
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When two people are talking, you should start a new paragraph every time the other one starts talking.
i.e.:
:
"Sir, what if he does not live through that?"
"Why woulden't he?"
"Lack of air, sir."
"It does not matter he's just another soul for the master to feast in(on)."
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(also, run it through MSWord or anything with a spell-check. Mistakes are underlined)
You can add little things to make the dialog a bit more gripping like... "Why wouldn't he?", he said, still with his back to the messenger.