This is a good story, metroixer. It seems to have improved a bit since the first chapter. I agree with Shrink on the spell-check thing. Honestly, when I write my stories, that's exactly what I do as well to make sure that everything's in tip-top shape.
All I can tell you is to be a WEEEE bit more descriptive, but other than that, it's good. I look forward to the next part.
