Y'know, if you all think you're so good at picking up on liars, why have none of you even mentioned the fact that I blatantly lied about my age?
I don't look 21, because I'm not 21. I'm a 17 year old college student, I work as an assistant artist in a low budget games studio for work experience, and I'm doing a couple of degrees through the open university in what little spare time I have so that I can make job at the games studio permanent. I'm not some high level games exec with 6 bagillion qualifications, and the only reason I ever got into E3 is because I got a work colleague to lie for me when he was getting the tickets - he managed to sneak me in through a fire exit. I was bitterly disappointed by how boring it was and spent the rest of my holiday in the states watching cable TV in the hotel room and playing billiards in the games room because I didn't look old enough to get into any of the bars and clubs.
Not bland enough for you?
I don't make enough money to afford the vending machine in college, so I welded a steel wire to a £1 coin in welding class so that I could fish it back out again. That's the coolest thing I've ever done in my college, I'm probably one of the most boring students there. The only reason people like me is because I sell them weed, but all that means is I get all these irritating dodgy-looking townies and wiggas hanging around me if I'll fix them up with some pot for free until they can pay me. (which they never do) Nobody in college knows my band, and none of them have heard my music - they don't realise that I'm the one who does all the "wicked-bad stencil graffiti" because I'm too much of a coward to risk getting arrested and charged with every single stencil I've ever sprayed.
So yes, I'm not captain fantastic. But you guys backed me into a corner way back when I was threatening to leave, I had to say something that would put me in a position of authority. Unfortunately my lies only made me look like more of a dick than I already did.
But despite all this that I've been covering up (so badly) nobody has ever questioned me about it, and instead made far fetched suggestions about how I'm some guy who used to be here before but got banned. You were all concentrating so hard on something that there was no evidence for, that you were missing the one thing I'd been obviously decieving you all over. And ok fine, maybe it isn't that serious, but don't you all think that in light of this you should drop the Inspector Clueso act? I'm not a criminal waiting to make my next nefarious move. This isn't an orwellian conspiracy/ufo coverup. I'm just a kid who's trying to get everything all nice again and back to how it was before half the respected regulars went on a crusade against me. It's funny how you don't realise how bad things are for some people until you're in their shoes, and now that I am on the other side of the favouritism I can see just how bad it is.
Heck, put yourself in my shoes - how would you like it if one minute you were a respected member who could get away with stuff, and the next minute you were banned for the spam that you see your peers getting away with on a daily basis? It sucks, and it makes you realise that there needs to be a change in the way we act or the way the rules work, cause right now it's damn confusing.
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