It doesn't suck, but it certainly isn't Prize-Winning material, either.
This is a tough undertaking, writing a prequel to a story with characters that are totally not your own. And that's cool, I say go for it.
But there isn't enough to it to make a full-fledged story out of it. You don't go into enough detail.
The way you started - with the Stranger in a weapon shop, and no sort of preamble to the situation- is fine. Stick with it.
Tip: Try to give a personality to every character, even if it's a character that only appears once. Example: the clakker weapon clerk. He's got a bit of attitude, which is evident in his " ... if you're too much of a wimp to use 'em" line. But what else is he doing? Shifting his feet, rubbing his head, scratching his ass, giving Stranger dirty looks, not paying attention, what? Try to make all your characters interesting. It'll make readers want to read it more.
Tip: Explain the Stranger's thought proccess. How did he settle on a crossbow? What went through his mind when he was coming up with ideas? And did he stand outside of the store to think this out, or did he go somewhere to ponder it? Including these details will not only beef up the length of your chapters, but it will also make it a more interesting read.
Tip: Tell the reader where the Stranger found his materials. It's easy to just say "He went and found some materials." and leave it at that. But that leaves you thinking "Where did he get the materials? What materials did he use? How did he design it? What exactly does this crossbow look like? How do you make a double barreled crossbow, anyway?" Know what I mean?
Tip: Try to make simple sentences sound more complex. It's a little weird to explain exactly what I mean, so let me give you an example.
Original: Looking around, he spied a rock.
Suggestion: Desperate to find something he might be able to use, he quickly searched the ground for some likely ammunition ... and settled on a good-sized stone sticking out of the dirt.
Do you see what I mean?
You have my encouragement. If you can piece this story together with Stranger's Wrath, then it'll be worth it to read a finished product. Try not to sell your readers short on the detail, and it'll be a better read. It'll take more work, sure, but if you want to impress people with a story you wrote, would you rather do just okay, or would you like to do something great?
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