Everybody does it? How DARE you infer that I look at/think of naked women and touch myself.
That was a lame attempt at sarcasm, btw. Talking about/admitting to masturbation is not a common topic for myself, but it's come up numerous times. Mainly when I'm telling the story of my twisted testicle. Sure, I may attempt to use the term "crossed my legs wrong" as a shifty attempt to divert attention from the truth, but I doubt a soul doesn't see through that. Hell, even I can't help but smile/start laughing.
So that's a fair warning, people (guys). If you're doing the deed with yourself, the twins inside your scrotum aren't safe. And no, it wasn't like the fast and the furious, either. A couple of girls asked me about that, and I replied it was more of an "andante." Because we need more musical tempo references to describe self gratification in the world.
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