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I wank because I don't have anyone to have sex with and I don't like waking up in a sticky bed.
I don't do it too much as that's rather perverted and wrong and it makes you have nasty veins. And it makes me feel guilty afterwards.
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Why are you me?
(Yeah, I do it too... you're not alone...
)
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Masturbating is healthy for men because it flushes out the system which can sometimes cause cancer... Or something like that.
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That's true. Read
this if you don't believe me.