[Splat]

Tadaa! It's finally done! Sorry I kept you all waiting. My friend just came up with an idea for a non-oddworld fic and we've been working on that. I've been having some trouble writing anything else, couldn't get my mind to it.
Also my sister's home from university and she's been on a lot.
But here it is at last, the one you've all been waiting for...

Chapter 14

Abe
"Hey Abe, what happened to your face?" One of the mudokons behind me laughed nervously.
I ignored the question and asked him, "Where’s Munch?"

"Splat got back about 15 minutes ago. They’ve been arguing ever since. I couldn’t stand it so I told em to go up the passage a little in case any sligs are coming out. If anyone comes this way I’ll run in after em."

"You shouldn’t give Munch freedom like that Alf. It makes him think he can run off any time."

"I know, but they just wouldn’t shut up!"

I grinned. "Told you they were bad! You seen a Bird Portal round here?"

"Ask Munch, he’s been having a look around on his own."

I raised an eyebrow. He shook his head. "Don’t ask," And pointed down the tunnel behind him.

* * *

"Hey Abe, what happened to your face?" One of the idiots behind me laughed nervously. Splat cracked up and started rolling on the floor laughing.
"One of your ingrates smacked me Munch. Where’s your snoozer? And have you seen a Bird Portal round here?"

Munch was by now also struggling to avoid laughing. "Turn left as you come out of here. Next left. I had a pee through it earlier."

There was a stunned silence…

"Whaddid I do?"

"You peed through a Bird portal, Genius." One of my mudokons informed him.

Munch looked confused. Splat, who had by now stopped laughing, gave him a withering look. "You’re sick Munch. What sort of a sick idiot pees through a bird Portal?"

Sensing an argument beginning to bloom, I made a hasty retreat back up the passage.

* * *

"Hey Abe, what they arguing about now?"
"Munch’s… peeing habits."

"He told me he was going for a flowerpot."

"Try Bird Portal."

"…Sick… See ya in a minute."

Alf headed down the passage. A few seconds later there was a silence in their arguing… followed by all three of them laughing loudly. Munch’s voice floated up the passage. "Right in the middle of his face…"

One of the idiots behind me laughed nervously.

* * *

"No way Abe. You may be the saviour of the Mudokon Race but there’s no way that I’m jumping through that Portal after that gabbit has been using it as a toilet."
"Go through that Portal or it’ll be your face everyone’s laughing at."

"Just you try it!"

"Fine. Don’t go through the Portal. We’ll just leave you here with the sligs and the vykkers and they’ll probably experiment on you and turn you into some skin-eating psychopath and then the sligs’ll shoot you into the next life."

"You wouldn’t do that!"

"Don’t be so confident. I’m a very stressed guy right now."

"Whatever. You still wouldn’t leave me out here."

"Wanna bet?"

"Ok, 5 moolah."

"Done!"

I chanted and four mudokons clambered tenderly through the Portal, which closed and I stepped away.

"You still won’t leave me here."

"You keep telling yourself that."

* * *

"4…3…2…1…"
I looked around. There was no sign of the mudokon. I started again.

"Ten…Nine…Eight…Seven…Si-"

"Ok, Abe, you win!" He charged round the corner and slapped five 1 moolah notes into my hand. "Just get me out of here!" He lowered his voice to a terrified whisper. "There are ratz in here. Ratz Abe!"

"There are ratz everywhere moron." I informed him as I led him back to the Portal.

He looked at me, terrified, and shuddered.

All three of them were laughing to themselves when I walked round the corner. As soon as they saw me Alf and Splat stopped. Munch pointed his finger at my face and laughed loudly before realising the rest of the room was silent. His laughter died away and he stopped pointing.

"Stop wasting time. We’ve only got 30 minutes and then we’re walking to Glucose." I walked past them as they began to pick themselves up, pausing on the way to kick Munch in the shin.

* * *

It must be said, Splat had certainly done his work. The passage that was normally a mess of electric walls, doors, mines, traps, so on and so forth, was now almost empty. Even the greeters were turned off and lay inanimate on the floor and slumped against the walls of the passage.
Munch shut up for once and Splat looked tense. He was hovering in the air, darting from one corner to the next, ready to release shred attack on any unfortunate slig that happened to be wondering around. But there were no sligs management seemed to think electric walls, greeters and laughing gas were enough to stop anyone breaking in.

"How long will it take em to realise I’m not effected by laughing gas?" I asked, trying to break the silence as we walked past a deactivated valve, the normally glowing warning sign dark and silent.

"Speak for yourself," Alf answered darkly.

Munch suddenly grinned. "Oh yeah, we all remember your experience with laughing gas Alf!" Some guy had brought a canister of laughing gas into Alf’s and released it as a joke. Alf had woken up next morning in the middle of a paramite web. Munch laughed but stopped quickly as it echoed around him and seemed to scream in the dark, silent tunnel.

Alf was walking beside me. "You ok Abe?"

"I’d kill for a brew."

Alf grinned and pulled a bottle of green liquid out of the side of his bag. "What were you doing walking out of the Alcoholics Anonymous hut that day?"

"You don’t wanna know."

"Yes I do."

"Shut up Alf."

He grinned and I moved to flip the cork out of the brew. "Hang on, I’ll save it. Might need the fart soon."

We walked along in silence for a while long till Splat looked round a corner and called to us, "This looks hopeful."

Round the corner the tunnel stretched on for a while but at the end it was lit up with bright artificial lights.

"Are you sure you shut the whole place down Splat, cause I don’t wanna be walking into a trap."

"There was nothing else on the computer."

Alf shrugged. "It might be your train platform. How long we got left?"

"About 10 minutes. It’s pretty tight security here."

"It’s a cross-continent train, they can afford to be."

Munch suddenly said in a mock-monster voice. "Walk into the light."

"Heh." Alf grinned. "I saw the light at the end of the tunnel."

"Until it turned out to be some bloke with a torch brining me more work to do," Splat put in helpfully.



And now i've gotta go have me lunch cause i'm goin out in 20 minutes. Reply!