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Hey Conker, I decided to make you one myself:

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I just want you to know, MojoMan, that after seeing this work of yours, I want to punch you in the face until it's bleeding and misshapen.
There is NO EXCUSE for calling another member here a retard, especially a new member. He came here asking for a real signature, and even if he did get one, your stunt was totally out of line.
I don't care how much of an annoyance he was, there was no need for you to embarass him like that.