[Splat]

Viva la chapter! Sorry about the wait. I couldn't think of an ending so I had to stick the Martor bit in earlier than planned.


Chapter 13

Alf

"Hey, what dya think you’re doin Munch?" I asked angrily as that idiot of a gabbit blew up his snoozer.
"I need to take a leak! Sue me!"

"So what am I supposed to do if a slig turns up and you’ve run off somewhere?"

"Don’t mess with me Alf, when you gotta go you gotta go."

"For Odd’s sake man, can’t you hold it?"

"Hey Alf, I’ve been holding this one for half an hour! Unlike you mudokons, I don’t have an internal combustion engine in my gut!"

"Don’t get biological with me! Where are you gonna go?"

"Just to find a drain or a pot-plant or somethin! Then I’ll be right back."

"And what am I supposed to do if a slig turns up and you’ve run off?"

Munch was already half way round the corner. "Wake up Alf, we’ve been here for over an hour and we’ve only seen a vykker and those interns that didn’t even notice us-"

"And that greeter!"

"Ok, a vykker, 2 interns and a greeter that wouldn’t have even bothered is if you’d kept still-"

"Me keep still? You were the one that started throwing rocks at its head!"

"Whatever Alf, the point is we’ve been here ages and we haven’t seen anything remotely dangerous. What are the odds that when I’m gone for 5 minutes a sligs gonna appear?" Before I could protest he’d gone.

I sighed and kicked the head of the wrecked snoozer across the room. At which point a rather viscous looking big-bro-slig came round the corner and pointed his gun at me.

"Freeze Mud! What ya doin here? This is a NO MUD security zone."

I was gonna murder that gabbit.

"I, uh, my uh, supervisor, told me to come, get a, uh…"

"What the Hell happened here?" The slig gestured Munch’s snoozer.

"I dunno… sir… It was here when I got-"

"You still haven’t told me why you’re here Mud."

"My supervisor sent me to… to the… security office cus the, uh… the chant suppresser cut off in our work zone. And I, uh… got lost."

The steroid-enhanced slig gave me a murderous look. "Oh really?" I nodded. "Why don’t I believe you?"

"I dunno sir… maybe you’re just not a trusting guy?" I suggested.

He growled. "Don’t get smart with me Mud." He took a threatening step towards me. I stepped back. "Now I’m gonna give you to the count of three to tell me why you’re really here. One." He took another step forwards.

I stepped back and found myself pressed against the wall. "I already said, I was-"

"TWO!" The slig cut me off and made to step towards me again. Instead he suddenly jerked backwards a step. With a yelp he grabbed onto the wall as if to stop himself falling out of his pants.

"What the Hell is wrong with this thing now?" He growled, smacking his pants and taking another jerking step backwards. "Fine, if this thing wants to work in reverse, I’ll just walk backwards!"

The slig jerked his tail and suddenly he shot forwards like he had a rocket tied to his back and practically flew at me. I barely leapt out of the way and he ht the wall with a loud "CLONK" and bounced off, landing on his back, looking dazed.

I began to edge away until he suddenly roared angrily and pushed himself up. Or tried to. However, it appeared his pants were still refusing to comply because he moved halfway up and then flopped down again.

"WHAT IN ODD’S NAME IS WRONG WITH THIS THING?" He yelled and began hammering at his pants with his fists. "Get UP damn you!"

Finally getting the message, the big-bro’s pants leapt upright, yanking the slig with them, and began dancing the fandango across the room.

I’d already figured it out though. "Ok Munch, get on with it."

The slig was yelping and shouting. Suddenly his pants exploded and he went flying into the air and landed in a heap on the floor, his head buried under his heavily beefed-up body.

Munch stepped out of the shadows. "How was that?"

"Why couldn’t you just kill the thing and be done with it?" A loud moan emitted from the big-bro’s notable mass.

"Hey, that’s Abe’s job. I’m off to find me a snoozer."

"Munch." He looked back over his shoulder. "If we survive this quest I’m gonna kill you Munch."

Munch grinned and hopped off.

At which point I heard footsteps from the direction the big-bro had come from. I sighed and waited for the worst.

Splat stuck his head round the corner. "Hey Alf, Abe back yet? What happened to half-pint?"


President Martor

"WHAT! I WAS TOLD TWO WEEKS! NOT TWO SEGMENTS (100 days, industrial calendar)! I WON’T STAND FOR THIS! I WAS TOLD TWO WEEKS AND TWO WEEKS IS WHAT I’VE DONE! I WON’T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!"

"You will take what we tell you to take Martor. Maggie has reviewed your case and decided two weeks isn’t enough to assure you’ve reformed. She doesn’t want you in the Cartel Martor and until she does you’re guarding Amy."

"I will not spend another 87 days in this Hell-hole."

The smug little Cartel b@$t@rd in front of me grinned. "Oh, don’t worry about that. Rumor Kontrol just sent word a train depot in Mudos was successfully hijacked by terrorists two days ago. That particular train station was cross-continent. They could be coming closer as we speak. You and your whole operation is being moved. You better make sure our little queen and her minders are happy. You’re being watched closely Martor."

"Where are you moving me to?"

"Glucose." He threw a file on my desk. "I want your security force and research team over there in two days. You can leave the muds here."

"Most of them are dying anyway. The idiot who had this place before me wasn’t big on employee-relationships."

"We’ve got you a knew team. Let’s see if you can motivate them a little better. We’re moving you to a fleech farm. Maggie wants you to keep it running while you’re there. Don’t kill off the work force. Or we’ll have to take it out on you."

He grinned again and left. He was barely out the door when a breathless looking slig ran in.

"What is it this time?" I asked angrily. I couldn’t get a minute’s peace here. I hadn’t slept properly in days.

"Amy’s run off again sir." I bashed my head on the desk



Tadaa. I'm low on time right now so just reply.