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  #11  
05-14-2005, 04:52 PM
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odd chick
Outlaw Shooter
 
: Nov 2004
: United States
: 1,275
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odd chick  (10)

The content, tone and mood were brought out very well in this chapter. The characters seemed like they had a better personality as well. However, there are still several obvious grammar/punctuation errors all throughout your story. Just fix those and you're good to go.
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