That chapter, to be honest, went way too fast and was over before I could even think! One thing that bothers me is that it seems like you're not depicting the characters' emotions and personality enough. :/ And why, exactly, is Molluck planning on killing Margaret?-I know that it has to do with him wanting to take over her throne, but you should elaborate on that a bit more-is it because of the supreme power that she holds over the glukkons and he's envious of that, does he just hate her, or is it another reason? :/ Also, the plot, if I must say, is rather weak as of now. I'm not trying to discourage you, though. With enough practice and editing of the chapters, you'll get more experience and I'm sure the story will improve immencely over time.
Don't give up because I think it has potential.