Hmmm....this chapter definitely could've been better. You could've thickened the plot up a bit-you just gave a summary of the three parts of the quintology (that have been released so far), and didn't quite show the emotion that Molluck felt from hearing/seeing how Abe blew up the mines/ brewery and how Abe and Munch defeated the Vykkers. For example, where you put "Molluck jumbs up and runs to his Security Fone and says to the Security slig...", you could've put something like, "Feeling numb and very dizzy, Mullock slowly picks himself up off of the floor. He looks around the area, seeing his slig assistant lying next to him. He is dead. Trying to grasp exactly what has happened to both his assistant and him, Molluck looks up to the cell where Abe was chained earlier. He notices that Abe is gone. Fearing that Abe somehow has something to do with the death of his assistant and his own injuries, Molluck runs to his Security Fone and makes a desperate call to a security slig..." I know it seems a bit long, but a statement such as this would have brought out Molluck's emotions and personality a bit more.
However, the whole idea of the story is very good-I hope you'll continue with it because it sounds interesting.
I hope you're not offended-I was only trying to help.
