Okay guys. I went against my will to bring you another chapter that tugs at the heart strings!
Chapter 5
Since the paramites were feasting on Scrab Cakes, Hans and Sven had time to escape. They ran their asses out of that forest like a midget with his hair on fire. When they got out of the forest, they wandered in a desert for days. Their tongues dry and their faces wrinkled from dehydration, Sven tried to lick a cactus, to no avail.
“No, idiot!” said Hans. Hans then cut the cactus with his claw, and water came dripping out. Sven stuck his tongue under the water, only to get it caught on one of the needles.
“OW! Son of a Bitchsth! Why you...!” Sven lifted his hand to smack the cactus, and Hans stopped him.
“You’re dumber than my old fuzzles, and they only know how to move and eat!”
“But he stharted it!” retorted Sven.
“Don’t make me turn this car around!”
“Hans, we’re not in a car.”
“Shut up, Sven.” And after that little episode, they continued their walk through the desert.
Later that night, Hans and Sven had to sleep on the desert floor. It was surprising how the temperature in a desert could get so high in the daytime, and sink so low at night. Hans and Sven were freezing, and they had nothing to keep them warm.
“Hansth, I’m ****in’ freezing! I need something to keep me warm!” said Sven.
“Don’t you odd damned think about it!” said Hans, who scooted over about three inches. A few minutes later, they heard howling. No, you silly human. Not wolves. There aren’t wolves on Oddworld, you idiot! It was a pack of Scrabs. Yes, Scrabs you ignorant busy-body! Hey, don’t gimme your lip, bitch! Anyway, the howling started off in the distance but gradually, it got closer. So close, in fact, that the pair had to cover their ears. They could make out the shapes of the Scrabs in the faint moonlight.
“Hansth, can I askth you a question?”
“Yes, Sven?” Hans’s voice slightly wavered.
“Do you think they have any Danishes I could borrow?”
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