[Sal the Mudokon]

well, it seems im the only one who gives a fuck about that last chapter(which story will get better as the story continues!! i.e. The Hobbit sucked for a quarter of the story). So, otherwise, its June, or so I've been told, and I'm gonna keep true to my word by posting the next part of my pretty little story!...this ones got some humor Here it goes:


Sal's OddyseeChapter 4: The Natives

“Eh, hi guys,” said Sal.
“You will greet us in our native tongue!!!” screamed the most decorated one.
“Oh, ummm,” Sal thought for a moment, “WWWAAAAAASSSSSUUUUUUPPPP!!!!!”
“No, you fool!” the leader hit Sal over the head with the staff that he was carrying, “You have to whistle!” Sal attempted to whistle, but sadly could only spit all over himself.
“You are a disgrace, Glukk-Shmuck!” shouted the leader, “You shall be punished!”
“Are you gonna kill me?”
“No, worse.” Sal felt a lump in his throat. “We’re going to send you to the queen!”
“The queen? What’s that?”
“That’s it!” screamed the leader. POW! He smacked Sal over the head with his stick. “And you call yerself a mudokon!?” Sal felt a little woozy and passed out.
Twenty minutes later, he found himself in a strange, large, dome-like enclosure. It was made of rock and had a large bulbous chunk of earth in the middle. Yolk was sitting next to him. Yolk would have surely knocked the crap out of Sal, had it not been for their chains. Then, out of nowhere, the monstrous boulder moved.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!” screamed Sal. It moved slowly, but with a constant echo in the enclosure. It was spinning every so slowly. Then, Sal saw that the boulder had the arms and head of a mudokon sticking out of the front of it. “Don’t worry lil’ guy! Here I come!” Sal screamed as he charged the length of his chains, which was just enough for him to grab the head and arms of the poor mudokon who’s lower half lie deep within the rock. Sal grunted as he pulled.
“Unhand me, you fool!” screamed the mud.
“Well,” started Sal, “I thought you were stuck in this boulder!”
“This is no boulder!!! This is my body!”
“Oh sorry!” started Sal, “But you must admit that if this is yer body than you are immensely obese.”
“Why you little bastard! If I were what I used to be in my old day-” the mysterious figure let out a loud series of coughs. “If I-“ the coughs persisted. “Well,” cough, “You’d be sorry!”
“Look, I’m sorry for Callin’ ya fat n’ all, but I don’t really know you,” said Sal innocently. The giant lightened up. “N’ you’ve got one heck of a temper problem too, ya old geezer!” A face of pure anger swarmed over that of the behemoth.
“My name is Kel,” she said with certain strictness, “and I am the mudokon queen of the lands of Modelado.”
“Well, queen,” started Sal, “I’ve never really been outside of the factory that I used to work in and I really don’t know where I am, let alone where ‘Modelado’ is.”
“Well,” said Kel, “Then let me educate you.” She took a second to clear her throat, and then began. “You and I, like much of the mudokon nation live in a massive continent known as ‘Mudos’, which is a tiny sect of Oddworld. Mudos is separated into many mudokon royal sections, the one of which we are presently in is the second-most eastern section towards the Great Big Water, which is called Modelado.” Sal was fast asleep.
“Can I hit him?” begged Yolk.
“Very well,” said Kel.
POW!