It's a good story, but like too many other fan fictions, it's hindered by some writing problems and brevity. Make it longer, man! Like instead of saying:
"'Huh? Where am I?' Abe said waking up. "we're in a factory cell,' Munch said gloomily.", you should say:
"As Abe woke up, he realized he'd been captured! His prison was dank and damp, and smelled like Fuzzle poo. "Where am I," he asked himself. Suddenly, he heard a voice behind him. "We're in a factory cell." He turned around and saw his buddy Munch. "Munch, are you alright?"
I mean, that's just a brief example, but it's agood way to lengthen a story and keep it interesting. Also, capitalize your 'I''s.
It's a really good concept, though. Keep it up!
