My dad got me a mobile for Christmas. It was cool for about a week. Now it's just a reminder of how much he spends on useless crap that no one ever uses. I don't need a cell phone. I never expressed the slightest interest in one. I explicitly told him not to get me anything I didn't explicitly ask for. And he did. And now it sits in my room, unused. I f*cking hate cell phones.
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Step right up and shoot pasties off the nipples of a ten-foot bull dyke! Win a cotton candy goat!
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