[Splat]

Strange.

"Tell me honestly doctor, how long have I got?"
"Ten."
"Ten what? Ten days? Months?"
"8... 7... 6... 5..."

i'm in a doctor, doctor mood.

Doc: "Good news my man, you'll live to be 80!"
"But I already am 80!"
"In that case, it was nice knowing you mate."

And to finish:

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"
"Is it blonde? We're missing a waitress!"

Oh, and my own variation on the black/white.

What's black, white and red all over?
A zebra in a blender