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I wonder if I would be more confident if I were physically moderately attractive, or if I just hve some kind of deep-seated problem that would cause me to find and focus on some other flaw. I really hate this fear of rejection.
80 percent of people who are fat by age thirteen stay fat for the rest of their life. The situation seems more hopeless than I thought.
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I used to be a good deal shorter, and a lot tubbier. 80% of people fat at age 13 may stay fat, but I'd wager most of them don't try to do anything about it. Thus, we arrive at the last 20%.
If you're really serious about trying to find a female friend, try to join into school activities and the like. Or find connections of people who are friends with girls. Or something. Chances are, there's some sort of social clique at your school that you're overlooking. One that actually consists of intelligent, free-thinking people your age.