It's very good, for a start, Rettick. It created the right level of suspense, to the future chapters.
Don't you think of finish the "undercover operations"?
just a comment: long periods are really hard to follow. try to write short periods. things like "Abe, the chosen one of the mudokons, which are enslaved by the glukkon, bosses of the stupid paintless sligs who have guns just because they are paid of, don't like to ride elums when they are nearby bee hives" don't sound very understandable. Just a thought.
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