Fine.
Let's put it this way:
If you don't want to kill your pests, whatever, don't kill them. Waste money on getting some dude to come in and do the job for you because you're too much of a fucking wuss. Ultimately, YOU seal the animals fate, so you are responsible for its death if you call in a pest exterminator, so you better not do that either.
In fact, fuck it, just live with them and never kill anything ever, and die because you refuse to eat anything that was once living, including plants. You think controlling is wrong? Don't do it. Leave a harmless trap and release the animal into your back yard where it will just find its' way back in again.
Don't want birds nesting on your roof? Well according to Jacob, the answer to that one is to construct hideous and completely ineffective barb-wire and spike contraptions that make your house look like a jail. YES, ineffective - the local tax office tried it, and seagulls STILL nest on their roof.
Oh, and put your garbage into a can so that when the garbage collection men come round, they won't bother with yours, and will just leave it there in the can because they refuse to open them - and when you ask them why, they'll just tell you about the rule in their company that says they are not allowed to collect from garbage cans. That's a great idea isn't it.
Also, don't forget to accuse anyone who doesn't do things this way of wanting to "hunt" to satisfy their "primtive instinct" - that should tell them how much you really understand the way this world works.
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