Don't worry, Esus. Dave forgives.
I would've had this posted earlier, but I had things come up ... like dinner and cleaning.
Blech.
Anywho, here's chapter 26, a few hours late, but still here.
Chapter 26
At this point, the other sligs back in the cave were preparing for the assault. Equipping their sturdiest pants, their slickest guns, and so on.
What they were supposed to do was sneak out of the cave when I began my speech. While I kept them captivated, the other sligs had to sneak out of the valley and up to the top, where the terrain was rocky and boulder-scattered.
I just had to trust that they wouldn’t get caught.
Now, though, I had to make the attack on Rubb look accidental. Should be easy.
As if on cue, two sligs barged into the armory, looking alarmed. Then one of them noticed the scorch mark on the ground, and cried out. He looked at me … and cried out again.
“Did you blow someone up?” he said. “What happened?”
I began stuttering and looking pathetic. “Rubb just hooked me up with a new suit, and I actually set off the grenade launcher … I didn’t know that the safety was off … and I slipped …”
The second slig looked at me … “Wait … Rubb? Oh, pfft. Whatever. To tell the truth, that guy’s had it coming for quite a while. Good work. What’s your name?”
I sighed with relief. “I’m Branch,” I started, then added: “Slig Worker Elite.”
The newcomers winced. Ha! I outranked them, too! “Well, sir, we have a meeting to attend to …”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m speaking at it. Let’s go.”
They led me outside to the assembly area. For a brief moment I was afraid it would be around the cave … because, you know, that’d be my luck. But, not a problem. We were going the complete other way.
I was pushed toward the platform, and I unceremoniously climbed atop. Cosmo was waiting here, with two Bigbro security guards flanking him, armed to the tentacles. Well, if I was planning any funny stuff, that plan would’ve just been shot down.
I looked out at the crowd of sligs, standing at the bottom of the stage. They chattered and talked, not really paying attention to anything. They stood in rough groups, not showing any sort of organization. Typical sligs.
And … across the valley, I saw a flood of sligs pour out of the cave. Good.
So, I had to speak long enough to allow them to get out of the valley. I had always been good at talking about stuff. I should have no problem.
Except stage fright. Oh, Odd, was I terrified! I don’t think it was just that I was in front of an audience, but I think that it contributed. The big deal was that I was looking at ton of sligs who normally would’ve shot me just as soon as look at me.
No time to panic; I had to help these sligs.
Cosmo stepped up to the microphone. “Attention! Direct your attention to this slig!”
The audience suddenly snapped into professionalism. Perfect lines, left to right and front to back. Impressive. I almost lost concentration. But that would’ve been bad.
Anyways, I had an audience to captivate.
“Uh, so I can just talk, Boss?” I muttered to Cosmo.
He answered with a stiff nod. That was enough.
“Uh, okay, gentlesligs, let’s get down to business! I have taken it upon myself to do a bit of spying on the renegade sligs—”
were just reaching the base of the slope on the far side of the valley. Across the way, the
“—cave. I found that it is, thanks to my research, accessible only by climbing—”
up the slopes. They were about halfway up, and moving briskly
“—along the wall. We’ll need to remove our pants for maneuverability, so some of us will have to hoist them—”
up the slope and to the top of the valley. I guess I didn’t have to stall for very long, after all. I guess it was time for me
“—to the cave entrance. From here, we’ll march directly into the cave, and annihilate the resistance. Now, this is going to be rough work, so we have to—”
take the army to the cave. If I can get them all right around the cave, mostly inside it, then it would be easier to drop the
“—rock and roll, okay? No stragglers. No loafing. We need to get as many of you in there as possible. The spying I did proved that they have much firepower. We have to be careful not to be caught by—”
surprise on the sligs below. It was time.
“Anyways, gentlesligs, it’s time. Let’s go.”
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