It sounds like you basically want a really boring tabled out design like the current one. If you do that's fine, we could always compromise by just making a second theme for you guys. Since what you're asking for is so basic, Alcar could probably do it himself.
But could you at least link to some sites that show the sort of thing you're talking about? I really fail to see how any of what you're talking about could ever look fantastic.
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