[Dave]

Guess who's back?
Back a-gain!
Dave is back!
Tell a friend!

Chapter the Fifth! Hooray!

So we wandered down the hallway … looking for some way to get out of the factory. The hallways were mostly empty, except for the constant whirring of cameras.
But I had gotten to thinking … how was I going to hide five mudokons and guide them out of a place like this? There seemed not to be a way to do it without someone getting kill—
“Dante!” A whistle from behind. “Where are we going? I thought you knew what you were doing?”
“Uhh …” Oops. Where was I going? I guess I had nowhere to go, after all. “Were … gonna … get out?”
The others groaned. And as their hope faded, I watched the familiar sight of their skin changing from a pale green to a reddish color.
Uh oh, panic time. “No, no, no. I know what to do. Follow me.”
Disgusted, they whistled back. “No way. Tinker is right. You don’t know where you’re going.”
“Yeah, I’m with Ozzy. Let’s go, guys.”
“Wait! Come back! I’ll get us outta here! Really!”
“Nope. You’re on your own.” And they turned and left.
Ah, crud.
Well, at least I didn’t have to take care of them yet. I’d bust out on my own, and then I’d get help, then I’d come back and save them!
Yes! Save them all!
…
Anyways. I crept along the halls, hoping against hope that I wouldn’t run into anything dangerous.
As if The Odd heard me, I absently waltz right into a hallway crawling with sligs and greeters!
Yargh!
To my extreme luck, the baddies were generally distracted, focusing on some kind of video screen. I snuck closer, staying in the shadows cast by the surrounding machinery, so that I could look on.
There was a scruffy looking glukkon in a gray suit talking. Many of the words he said were new to me, and his thick accent didn’t help, either. But I remember the sounds exactly, and now that I can speak and type, I can retell it.
“It has come to my attention that there is a mudokon running loose in the factory. He is armed and dangerous. So, effective immediately are the following commands:
The factory shall not process anything until this mudokon is captured and/or shot, diced, or otherwise killed so that his head may be mounted on the wall in my office.
Until he is captured/killed/etc., no more mudokons are to be put to work—this escapee has caused too much of a stir, and I want every mudokon here to witness his punishment.
Now, stay alert! Note every sound, and shoot anything suspicious. Make sure it is only this mudokon that you shoot! Now, move!!”
Whoo, boy. Thing’s are looking fun.
I tiptoed into the shadows and slowly raised the gun in my hands. I pointed it at the nearest slig, and, sweating bullets, pulled the trigger. The sound was deafening in the little enclosed space, but the effects were immediate.
All the other sligs panicked, and began shooting everywhere. I, however, had dropped my gun, fell to my hands and knees, and rolled off down the hallway, keeping my eyes peeled for sligs, greeters, directories ….
Wait a minute … directory?
A map of the factory!
Surely I could use it to find a way out!
I stopped behind some broken meat grinders to catch my breath. I looked up and down the halls, taking in what there was to take in.
A little corner with a new hall was a bit up the way to my left. The directory was straight across from me, and down to the right, where I had come from, was … oh, jeez, the sligs! They had heard my gun clatter and were chasing me all along! I guess they couldn’t shoot while they were running … making a mental note of it, I wrenched a piece of metal of the machinery next to me. “This better work,” I thought, and hucked it overhead as far as I could to land back behind them.
Clatter … clatter … crash!
“Hey! Hear that!”
“It came from behind us!”
“Let’s go!”
And, miraculously, they turned and ran. After taking one more look around, I tiptoed over to the directory and pressed my mitt against the glowing panel.
A little holographic, three-dimensional map of the entire complex jogged to life! I saw each and every facet of the factory. By pressing different parts of the screen, I could zoom in on particular parts of the whole building.
It took almost no time at all to find that the only way to get out was through—naturally—the front door. Yeah … all the work was done indoors. Great. Even the goods were transported straight through the roof of the building and into the new Vykker’s Labs.
So … maybe the sewers?
…
Yeah!
Now, to find some plumbing … I scanned the map and found that the only facilities were in Zulag Nine. The only sanitary ones, that is. The ones in the slig and mudokon quarters were cleaned out by—guess who—the workers each month. By hand. I’d go into details, but that’s another story for another day.
So, To get out, I’d have to go to Zulag Nine. And if you’ve done your homework (Dave: That means if you’ve read all the chapters), you’ll know that that is where the glukkons live, eat, work, and defecate.
I didn’t know whether to throw up or cry or both.
Yummy.