Chapter 32
Splat
Once I actually entered the place it didn’t seem as bad. I had a feeling that most of the smell and such came out of the smoke machines next to the door, probably to scare off animals. But the sounds where real enough, and some of the smell was definitely not there for dramatic effect.
Anyway, the first room I found myself in contained a reception desk with a little card saying “OUT TO LUNCH, BACK SOON” on it, a sign on the wall next to a solid doorway and an MOM news viewer thing.
Well, it always helps to keep up on the local news kids, so I walked up and stuffed my hand in it…
MOM News Bulletin
A slig stands on the stage scratching his butt and smoking a cigarette. He suddenly notices the MOM symbol on the enormous TV’s behind him and spits out the cigarette and grabs his microphone off the floor.
“Magog on the March, news you can’t afford to loose!
Director Kanzorr reports that Laquameety productions have been postponed:”
Kanzorr: It ain’t my fault! What ya all lookin at me for! It weren’t my fault! Terrorists did it!
Mudokon reporter: But weren’t you in charge of stopping terrorists getting at the ingredients?
Kanzorr: GUARDS! (Sound of gunshot and some red liquid splatters onto the camera lens) Can you edit that bit out?
Cameraman: Sure!
“This incident has been repeatedly compared to the fate of Meech Munchies, in which the creatures, meeches, were hunted to extinction when several scrabs broke into the main stockyards. When asked about these rumours, Director Kanzorr answered:”
Kanzorr: Oh, don’t remind me about the meeches! WHY DOES EVERY BUSINESS I HAVE TO BE HIRED INTO HAVE TO FAIL?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS CONSTANT, MERCILESS FAILURE IN ALL I DO… can you edit that bit out to?
Cameraman: Of course, anything you say man!
“These unfortunate events are topped off by the sudden and untimely deaths of high ranking executives, Dr Demana and President Martor. Prior to these events, the reward for the capture of the terrorist, Splat was boosted up by another 15000 Moolah.
This message brought to you by Springles, the snack with in-built jet propulsion!
Splat
Martor died! Well I didn’t kill him… So who did? Well no point wondering, I had 10 mudokons to save! I looked at the sign on the wall and realised it was an elevator directory. Scanning it quickly I found that Test Subject Bunks where on the 8th floor, along with Cute and Cuddly Labs and R+R Rooms.
Cute and Cuddly Labs? That’s just weird! I remember thinking, oh well.
I realised that the door next to me must be the elevator so I stepped through it, spotted the control panel on the wall, next to a big blood stain, and pressed the number 8. The lift rattled to life and I felt it descend bumpily through 8 floors.
The lift ground to a halt and I stepped out into a corridor. This place definitely smelt more… bloody. I couldn’t hear much screaming though, thank Odd. Course, if I’d known what was comin next I would have waited before giving thanks.
My first thought was to work out whether I was in R+R, Cute and Cuddly or Bunks. I looked around the corridor I was in and spotted a sign down the hall. So I went and read it… (Awkward silence)… Well anyway, I went and read the sign and it said, in big bold letters:
YOU ARE IN CUTE AND CUDDLY LABS.
R+R ROOMS>.
TEST SUBJECT BUNKS> BEYOND R+R ROOMS.
A few minutes later I was creeping down the corridor in the direction that the arrows had pointed. The corridor was made of smooth colourless shiny metal, broken occasionally by a door or bloodstain. The bloodstains unnerved me a bit at first until I had been walking for about an hour and had realised that they were pretty much the only interesting things in the place. A few corridors branched off mine every so often but so far I hadn’t seen another living soul. It made me feel lucky but also made me nervous – I’d already fallen for one trap on this stupid quest! I’d heard no sound and seen no movement other than my own reflections in the metal walls for ages.
Vykkers had a lot of buildings with shiny walls these days. It was meant to be unnerving but after spending about 4 (Earth) years of my life in a lab, I was used to it. I wasn’t used to the silence though.
So when there was a loud clash, clatter and buzz behind me I leapt about 4 feet into the air and spun round into a battle stance. I caught sight of something white leaping out of a featureless door I’d just passed before it charged down the corridor, barrelled into me and threw us both to the floor in a heap of legs and fluff!
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