[The Red Muse]

My life stinks. Not because lack of friends or anything, but because of myself.

I can't quite pinpoint what it is but I'm not satisfied with myself.


I feel the same way everytime I light a cigarette. Or when I cork open a bottle. I guess it's called guilt.


My parents love me, though I sometimes doubt it, they give me money and they expect me to use it wisely. Almost every friday night I lie to them, telling that I'm going to see a movie at my friends place or going to some fictional disco. They believe it and mom hugs me at the door and says, "Henna, please be careful. We love you and you know that we'll die if something bad happens to you."

I reply with grunts and leave as soon as possible.

Everything goes fine, till Iget the "refreshments".
That's when it starts. I feel so bad...

Yeah, this is just a bunch of emotional crap, but that's how I feel.
That's how my life is.

But don't get me wrong- there are sunny days in my life too, I'm not just able to notice them till they've gone.