[Jacob]

Dear anon,
The burning sensation could be caused by a type of STD, most likely Gonorhea...i think. I believe this STD actually causes severe discomfort in the Uretha when urine is passed. My advice to you is that you consult your local GP (Doctor) and get some medication. He may have to pierce your bladder before hand however...so prepare to have a stream of urine spurting out of the side of your abdomen...or wherever your bladder is...

Dear AS,
Your dying...the only way i can think of helping you out is by suggesting you drown yourself in the toilet...this would help by allowing you to die alot quicker rate than what you seem to be dying at...Yes...die.

Dear Canned Gabbiar,
Before you die you should write a will and leave me all your money, family and items of high value...i shall keep your money, sell your high value items and use your family as slaves. On the other matter, i suggest you close the book, torch your pyjama's, infect your computer with a highly-intense-sensual virus and get hired as a freak in a freak show. The Elephant man got money for his deformed head, why can't you?

Dear Alcar,
You obviously have thooperlicious taste and i suggest you act on this urge of high-sexual tension by sending the forum member in question lots of money. The way you describe him makes even my dry-as-desert loins moisten like they've been quelched with a waterfall of high proportion. If he likes Gucci, buy him Gucci...and Armani...and Versacé...and also Prada...yes...also...hire Adam Rickett to perform naked for him...yes...well done on your great taste...

Phew, thats another batch of lives saved by the amazingness that is me...