Bear in mind that these are actual read problems that I'm sure are more likely to coax a much more piss-myself-with-laughterly responce. However, I'm not authorised to claim that they're all my problems - they're all somebody else's, but I use the expression 'I' merely for simplicity. There are a few, so I've tried toseparate them.
1) Jonny is so incredibly fit. I mean really, he puts Ross to shame. I've always had a kind of thing for him, but during the last couple of days he's a) not had his hair up in a quiff, which makes him look more human, and b) had his sleeves rolled up - gorgeous arms. The trouble is obvious: being a selective mute, I can't speak to him anyway, let alone about a subject of this nature.
2) Jonny doesn't mix with the right people. He spends his time with George, Ravi and Sameer, but all they ever do is take the piss out of him and annoy him; and yet he doesn't seem to recognise this. I know it's not my place to interfere with other people's relationships, and I realise that friendship can exist in conditions such as I've just described, but it's agony to watch it every day.
3) I can't be bothered to write up all my other...er...everyone else's problems right now, but I should think you'll be able to help/rip the piss suitably.
Respectfully,
Max (definitely writing for someone else
)