Oh god, big boned.
I'm crushed. Not only by my own weight applying steady pressure on my internal organs, but by the immense weight of your well thought out insult.
Dear god, I've got to take action.
*sobs into mayonaise and lard sandwich*
Okay..really now..
*ripples over to weight watchers*
__________________
Buy my T-shirts. People will like you more and I will hate you less.
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