Q: In Munch's Oddysee, is Abe going to have another "special ability" from a tattoo or something similar like the Shrykull and Mudokon healing tattoos?
Alf: The last two times Abe called everybody out saying he'd acquired a new power, they turned out to be card tricks. I don't even bother to check anymore.
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Q: Is BlitzPacker Brew the same as SoulStorm Brew, or is it a competing brand, or what? If it's difference, what is it made of (as compared to SoulStorm being bones and tears)?
Alf: I think BlitzPacker Brew comes in a special, heavier can, so it'll leave bigger dents in things it's shot at, ya know, like walls, our skulls, etc.
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Q: Hey Alf! Where the heck do you live? I mean, so you live on a drifting continent? What does your planet look like? I would like to know. It's o.k. if you don't know.
Alf: I'm glad you gave me that out there at the end; I was gonna be having major fits of introspection about my self-worth if I got this wrong. At a guess, I'm gonna say it looks round and bumpy. With , you know, bits of blue, brown, and green spots, like an overripe Spooce Shrub or something. Fact is, I don't know. You gotta get pretty far away from a planet to be able to tell what it looks like. Munch might've gotten a good look when he plummetted out of the Lab, but I think he was a bit distracted by shrieking "I'M GONNA DIEEEE!!!!!!" at the top of his lungs at the time.
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Q: What is the Brewmaster Glukkon's real name? I refuse to believe that his name actually is "Brewmaster".
Alf: Hey, he's one of the lucky ones. Just imagine how Gas Station Attendant Glukkon feels... he can't even get his whole name onto a loan application.
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Q: Is it true that you will be able to load up your Mudokon friends with blitzpackers, snuzis, and tomahawks and send them on rampages through factories. Or are these special power-ups for sligs and other creatures only? And When you posses a slig can you go to a vending machine and get power ups like the super bounce and other armnants. PLEASE REPLY!
Alf: Don't you get snippy with me there, youngster! Remember, I'm a recovering substance abuser, I could snap at any moment!! It's little ragamuffins like you that're driving this whole oddworld into the- huh? My editor is gesturing frantically at me... Right, right, sorry, I do believe it's time for my medicine. *gulp gulp gulp* Whoo, that herbal chamomile stuff sure hits the spot. Okay... right... count to ten... Okay. If you gave one of these Mudokon chumps around here a Blitzpacker or a Snuzi, he'd probably use it for a fencepost, or a headdress ornament, or a garden hoe. We're just not that sharp with technology. Conversely, give a slig one of our tomahawks and he'd probably be squished under it's weight. You seen the skinny little sissy arms them fellas have? As for vending machines, well, sure, maybe you could buy an instrument of mass destruction or two, but then if I had Moolah to burn and vending machines about, I'd buy the sauce. I mean, that's what those machines are best for, getting blotto right quick- Huh? What? Right, sorry, more medicine... *gulp gulp gulp* ahhhhhh...
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Q: Do Glukkons like to be tickled behind their ears? I've been toying with this notion for quite a while now.
Alf: Would you say that the majority of the notions that you toy with are of a similar subject matter and caliber as this one? If so, well, whatever mows your lawn, I guess, though you might want to consider therapy... me personally, I wouldn't know; I wouldn't touch a Glukkon's skin with a hunnerd'n eighty foot I-beam even while schnockered.
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Q: I was wondering why you torture us by never answering any questions completely, and why your answers seem to never follow the whole Oddworld atmosphere?
Alf: Well, there's a good reason for this, you see...(burp!)... oh man, big breakfast today. Hey, has anybody seen that movie Cool Hand Luke where that guy eats all those eggs? That's what I feel like right now. Man, I gotta start cutting back. Anyway, what was the question? Ah well, let's move on shall we?
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Q: Are there Mudokon and Glukkon™ drones who sit around doing nothing in the hope of some day "getting lucky" with the queen?
Alf: In this case, use of the term "getting lucky" may not exactly be appropriate as the queens are essentially enormous sacks of fat rolls, covered in sweaty lumps, hair and weeping glands. I doubt any drone would consider himself lucky in the face of such a revolting task.
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Q: Hiya Alf! Why does Abe keep bumping his head?
Alf: Hello. I'm not sure why Abe bumps his head. Sometimes I see him eating paint chips.
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Q: Yo, can you send me some fan equipment man?
Alf: Dear Sir, unfortunately we do not include gold chains, spoke rims, or handguns in our line of merchandise. In addition, our distribution network does not extend to your part of "da hood" (i.e. your parent's basement in the suburbs), so we would be unable to fulfill your order. Seriously, look for stuff in the fall when the game is released.
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Q: Hey, would you Mudokons get severely punished if you pulled off BigFace's mask? Do you know what's under his mask?
Alf: Punished? Please! He only wears that thing for the girls. He thinks it makes him "mysterious" or something. I've seen what he looks like underneath. Two words - buck teeth.
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