[Splat]

To cheer you up Kes, i will give you a small taster of my fic, Splat!(remember folks, you saw it here first!)

I watched as 2 sligs got out of the lorry’s cabin. One went and leaned against the front of the lorry and the other leant on the side, just below where I was leaning over to watch.
I suddenly had an idea. I took my backpack off and began to dig through it till I found the food product I wanted.
FIRE FLUMPS
Goodness gracious, burp balls of fire!
I pulled one of the red marshmallows out of the packet and looked over the side of the lorry. The slig below me had an unlighted cigarette in its mouth and was now digging through its pants for something.
I spoke in a low voice: “Wan a light?”
To avoid confusion I’ll call them slig A and slig B.
A: “Yeah, that’d be great.”
B: “What’d be great?”
A: “You offered me a light.”
B: “No I didn’t.”
A: “Yes you did.”
B: “No I didn’t.”
A: “Yes you did.”
B: “Did not.”
A: “Did too.”
B: “Did not.”
A: “Did too.”
B: “Did not.”
A: “Did too.”
B: ”Did not”
I intervened in, my low commanding voice. “You didn’t!”
B: “Thank you.”
A: “What?”
B: “You agreed and said I didn’t
A: “No I didn’t.”
B: “Yes you did.”
I swallowed the fire flump.
A: “No I didn’t.”
B: “Yes you did.”
“I DID!” I screamed, angrily. “AND I OFFERED YOU THE LIGHT. TAKE IT!”
I burped and a bright red fireball flew out of my mouth and over the edge of the lorry. Judging by the scream I’d managed to hit slig A and he’d burst into flames!
A side affect of fire flumps is that you can walk through fire without getting burned or over-heated. I slid down off the lorry behind the fire. I then walked into the fire, called up shred power and walked out the other side where slig B could see me.
“YOU HAVE ANGERED ME!” I roared.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, IT’S THE DEVIL, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The slig was now running around in circles so I stepped a little way into the fire - enough so I could see him but he couldn’t see me.
The slig stopped and stood about a metre in front of the fire, whimpering like an injured sloggie.
I backed away into the fire, paused, then quickly charged forward, leapt out of the fire, then just before I landed, set off shred attack. Pieces of slig went flying everywhere. I stopped shred attack and looked around.
“And that,” I flicked a piece of slig off one of my scrab feet, “is that.”

I hope it cheered you up. Cause if it dont i give up!
Throws Misto a ball of wool and exits stage right.