Oddworld Forums - Ask Actra! (Spoiler warning!)

Ask Actra

In the spirit of Dear Alf:

It’s Ask Actra!

(Mock cheer emanates from forumers) “Yay…”

This, like most of my threads, was an idea for some time. I just got lazy and never wrote it down.

Notes:
-COMIC SPOILERS
-People writing to Actra are fictitious. I made them up. Because I could.

(In Zim’s voice) “LET THE TOPIC BEGIN!!”

Dear Actra:
I was wondering: Why aren’t Mudokons used as slaves anymore? What, did the Mudokons switch with you guys for a while?
Sincerely,
Brian

Dear Brian:
Well, the Glukkons all held a big meeting and decided that Mudokons themselves were dangerous, what with all them Tomahawkers and Mudarchers, not to mention the Muds in their own facilities helping Abe all the time. And Abe played a big role too. So the Mudokons were free. Whoopee. Guess who got the burnt end of the toast in that deal?
Yup.

-

Dear Actra:
What is an Archiver? Is he like BigFace?
Love,
Jonny

Dear Jonny
Are you kidding? An Archiver is a God! BigFace can’t hold a candle to this guy! He’s huge! Show our deities some respect, bub.

-

Dear Actra:
In Munch’s Oddysee, Munch can only Zap if he drinks a Zap Power-up. But in the Comic, he can zap people without having to drink anything? What’s up with that?
Thanks,
Devon

Dear Devon:
Munch, Abe and Alf were all given some extra years added on to their life, courtesy of a Shaman, for their good deeds. Munch is now a whopping 28 and still kicking! So, you can bet that ol’ Latamire had a little time on his hands. He’s trained his head port to zap at will and is damn good at it, too.

-

Dear Actra:
I heard that the Author had based the Tapewoim named Zack after Crush the Sea Turtle from Finding Nemo. Is there any truth in this?
Jus’ wondering,
George

Dear George:
Crush? Crush, you say? I know not of this Crush. In fact, No Hablo English, okay?
(Puts on fake mustache and flees the country.)

-

Dear Actra:
I read that your ears are the only things that sweat on your body? Why is this?
Thanks,
David

Dear David:
Oh, an Anatomical question, eh? Why don’t I just tell ya my bust size too, while we’re at it? Nah, I’m just kidding. But seriously, you know that most furry mammals don’t sweat at all. The Noctero ears have very little hair and the size of them helps to cool us off. They also get pretty stinky after a hard day’s work, the sweat coupled with earwax.

-

Thanks for putting up with me, folks! I’ll answer more soon.
Actra out.

Author's note: read and admire. Respond even. Just don't flame or hate me.