The Quest for the Omega Relic
This is the beginning of a new fan fic made by me.Sorry if it like yours Parimiteabe.
THE QUEST FOR THE OMEGA RELIC By:Mitsur Once,there was a time when different species along with muds lived together.This is one one of those times.... Two child muds were playing a card game they had made up when there father told them to hurry inside."Do we have to?"conplained one mud."I'll explain inside Jake" said the father.Inside,their father first told them of a acient evil magic that was summoned 100 years ago by an evil mud tribe who came together to take revege on any one that did not bow down to them."But my grandfather and other muds found a powerfull relic that halted the magic.I fear that it has come back because of the shadow that come closer to the village everyday" Thats chapter one,comments please! |
i think its good
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Neatness!
Great start! Creepy, and foreboding, but sounding quite good!
Please do more!! |
Oh I hear you Mitsur. Just don't catch yourself copying my story. Since my story isn't finnished yet I am going to put in a new chapter today. Stay tuned! Also if you want your story to be related to mine in some ways then pm me and we can work something out that way it will be fair. Anyway just don't copy my story or I will sick my Paramites on you hehe! j/k serously just dont try to copy me but you can have it related in ways. Sort of an off shute buddy. I am planning on haveing a sequel to mine like an Exoddus. As soon as I finnish my story. DON'T COPY! hehe!
Paramiteabe...:fuzblink: :smokin: |
okay thx parimiteabe
(me and parimiteabe will be in the story as the kids.PM me if you also want to be in it) And now *drumroll* what you've all been waiting for....... THE QUEST FOR THE OMEGA RELIC "So,why did you tell US?"said Parimiteabe."I need you to take my pldge for me,you must refind you OMEGA relic and destroy the magic once and for all!I have 3 things for you,first, one swords for each of you,second,magic talismans that may aid you on your quest-" What do you mean MAY?"said the other mud who was named Mitsur."It....er,might help you if it knows your worthy"said the father offhandedly."Oh,thats just great"said Parimiteabe sarcasticly."Be queit Pari"said Mitsur."Don't call me that!"said Pari. "Hey narrirator don't call me that either!"sorry,okay"So....the third item is cloacks for warmth.There is a tent and a 1 month suplly of food waitting outside the door along with two elums.I wish you luck" So,the two brave heros set out on ther quest,will the find the OMEGA relic?And what was that shadow watching them? |
The next chapter to *another drumroll*
THE QUEST FOR THE OMEGA RELIC As our heros travel on,they start to get the felling that they are being watched."Hey Parimiteabe, do you fell like we're being watched?"asked Mitsur "Yeah,I do lets rest for now though.Theres a stream overthere for the elums okay?" "okay lets go"said Mitsur.So they rested and took a nap.Then out of nowhere Mitsur woke up suddenly to find someone looking right at his face!"AAGHHHHHH!"yelled mitsur."I thought you were that thing that watched us Parimiteabe!"Sorry.I just saw a shape moving through the camp.lets go check it out" What will it be? |
who is maybe me
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Now the next exciting chapter of
THE QUEST FOR THE OMEGA RELIC Mitsur looked outside the tent only to see a face watching him."AGGHHHHHH!Thebomb,You made me wet my pants!." "sorry.I saw you guys talking with you're dad.Can I help?" "welllllll ummmmm ok fine we might need you're agilaty and streagth okay?" "okay" said thebomb. So our heros finshed their nap and moved on. "where are we headed right now?" asked thebomb." "to a tiny village of sligs." said Mitsur "oh we're stopping by there?Why?" asked thebomb "We need to get somestuff okay?" said Mitsur "Fine with me" said Thebomb. Suddenly a sword hit the ground.unfortonuly,it landed on Parimiteabes foot. "OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!OOOOWQWWOWOWOWO" said parimiteabe. "Who goes there?"Thundered a voice."U-u-u-u-u-m me?"Said mitsur. "Who are YOU? mitsur asked the voice."me?Why I'm AlTheVykker of course" said AlTheVykker. He jumped down." why do you pass?"he asked. "we are on a quest of great importance" said Parimiteabe. Can the trust this AlTheVykker? |
Hey Mitsur sounds good can I add some dialog kind of like your Character Gathering story you made a while ago. You know I don't think we ever finnished that story hmm. Anyway lets pm Al and maybe we can get him to join us in this story. And the three of us can start this huge journey across Oddworld searching for the Relec. I can give you my ideas of the relic. I am getting close to adding it in my story. This kind of reminds me of sort of a DND type game. Dungeons and Dragons you play that right? Well lets make it like that. That would be cool.
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okay fine parimiteabe
I have to go.Sorry I'll have the next chapter up later |
This reminds me of a wicked daydream I had once:fuzconf:...
Ahem, anyway... Could you please do some space between the lines? Like: "Blahblahblah?" Guy #1 said. Guy #2 nodded. "Blahblahblahblahehehblah" he replied. Sort of like that. It's really good right now, write more! Perhaps it will end like my daydream too... I strongly doubt that but if it do then... hm... |
Parimiteabe, I'll need u to do the next chapter beacuse I'm out of ideas right now and I'll be gone for awhile.SO HELP ME!
P.s. Al, u can help to,just tell pari u are going to do it okay? thx Sincerly, The Great All-knowing Mitsur |
Ok Mitsur I will.
"I know Al, he is a friend of mine he might help us on this journey. We need a boat to cross the oceans because I believe this evil you sense Mitsur is comming somewhere from far at sea." said Paramiteabe "Alright Paramiteabe sounds good lets go." Suddenly out of the blue a mystereous hooded Mudokin came to us and offered us advice. "I here you seek a strange object that you believe will destroy an ancient force of wrong doing." said the hooded Mud. "Why yes stranger. Who are you?" asked Paramiteabe. "My name is not important at the moment. You will know soon enough my friends." replied the hooded Mud. "But it is of great importants that I should guide you on this quest of yours. Now you shall rest. For a long and dangerous journey is of your future." explaned the hooded Mud. "Ok, good idea lets rest Mitsur. And tomarrow we will find Al the Vykker. I here he is really resourceful." And so Mitsur and Paramiteabe went off to rest. What peralous journey is in store them? |
Thx Parimiteabe
Our heros had just woken up."Ahhhhh" said mitsur as he streched. "BREAKFAST!" yelled the hooded mud. "yummy!I smell parimite eggs cooking!"after breakfast,they walked through the woods calling for AlTheVykker.What they got was there first battle encounter."Hey ummmmm whats that weird battle music?" said Parimiteabe. "Don't you know?During a quest theres always battle music when the enimie is coming.Don't you watch TV?" said mitsur. Who is the battle guy? |
Nice...
I admit that some space would make it easier to read. But otherwise it's pretty good!
It would be interesting to see how many people from the forums you can get in it.......... *grins evilly* :devil: |
parimiteabe and mitsur took out there swords."I hope hes not to strong"said mitsur."me too" said parimiteabe. Something with a covered face came out of the bushes." o geez this dosen't look good" said mitsur. Mitsur tried to strike it but it pushed him away. "hey it's just me" said the hodded figure.it took of it's mask. "o it's just you AlTheVykker"said parimiteabe.So now they all walked torwards the slig village. "oh no!The slig village it's....it's burned to ashes!"said AlTheVykker.(since he had better eye sight then either of them)"and I see a shadow slowly moving away...."
The shadow strikes!Who will be the next victim?And how many survivors are there? |
I would plz like some feedback.I mean no one has done feedback since the 1st chapter
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The sky grew grey with storms comming off the sea. PA and Mitsur were happy to see Al in the area. They asked him why he was in the area at the time of the strange occurences.
"Mitsur, PA I have heard you needed help." "But from who?" asked PA. "A stranger came to me in the night and told me about what is happening. He told me to come." said Al "Ah, it must have been that hooded Mud we saw the other day. Where did he say he was going?" Asked Mitsur. "To his village north of here to seek out his friend." said Al. "LOOK!" yelled Paramiteabe. "What is it?" asked Al and Mitsur. Suddenly the sky grew red over the burned slig villiage and the redness sucked the villiage up. After the villiage was gone a strange silver object fell out of the sky and landed high up on a ridge. PA, Al, and Mitsur started to head down the hill towards the area. "What was that?" asked PA. "I don't know. But we must go and investigate. That object looked like some sort of vehical. It was big enough to fit someone inside of itself." said Mitsur. |
Mitsur,Al, and PA jumped onto the bridge. "Wow.I never thought we could jump THAT good."said PA. "It must have been the talismans!" said mitsur. "When they got closer,they found out that it was actully a kind of sphere (that should remind you of something PA ;) ) "hey is'nt that the sphere our cousins told us about when they finnaly got home to mudos since that fishing trip?"said Mitsur. "oh yeah!I didn't belive it,but now I do!"said PA "Well,let's take it for a spin" said AlTheVykker. "are you sure?" said mitsur. "hey!it says automantic pilot!" said PA. So they all jumped in." hey wheres the on button?Oh, heres a pink dot" AlTheVykker said as he pressed it. "AHHHHHHHHHH!!They all screamed as they sphere made them fly off in the direction of the sunset.
Where will the sphere drive to? |
You guys are doing great so far, I am honored to be a part of this story.:) :fuzsmile: I will come in with my own chapter once I can get one thought up check back soon.
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Al, since everybody(PA u and me)has done at least 1 chapter,u have to do the next since u haven't wrote any then me then PA then u ect.
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Ah. You can calm down. My daydream has nothing to do with this anymore. Phew. Hmm... Paramiteabe, Mitsur and Al... Or? Eh... Just don't mind me...
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