Personal ads.
 

Men's ads:

40-ish = 52 and looking for 25 year-old
Athletic = Watches a lot of sport
Good looking = Arrogant
Very good looking = Dumb as a board
Honest = Pathological Liar
Likes to cuddle = Insecure Mama's boy
Mature = Older than your father
Physically fit = Goes to the gym once a year
Very sensitive = Gay
Thoughtful = Says "Excuse me" when he farts

Women's ads:

40-ish = 49
Adventurer = Slept with all your friends
Athletic = No chest
Average looking = Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Emotionally Secure = Medicated
Fun = Annoying
Gentle = Comatose
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate = Sloppy drunk

*giggle* I'm debating over which sex is the worst in this case...

Heh. Those are really funny! :)

And oh so so true...

Yeh, we used to have these human decoder peeps at school who used to take the piss out of what anyone said. E.G;

"You F*cking Bastard(!)"

would be...

"You Intercoursing Child-before-wedlock(!)"

Vaguely amusing, of course. Funnier when the person they were taking the piss out of heard.