Salutations
 

I call myself Vexen. Other people call me soldering iron. I love astronomy. I go star gazing often. That's all you really need to know about me. :fuzemb:

Hello! How did you find out about our fine forums?

Like many of you, I absolutely adore the oddworld series. When I realized there was a forum, I decided to join.

More meat for the grinder.

Talk about astronomy, and make it your niche. If you keep bees, keep it to yourself. That'll never work around these parts.

Oh, that's very ironic. I just converted my entire house into an apiary. :p

Vexen is my new bffe.

Fuck you BM.

Wow, I've already destroyed a friendship... This feels great!

Good. He knows sacrasm. He'll fit in just fiiiiine here.

BM knows very well I keep bees, he's trying to turn you away from me. Don't listen to him, I'm more fun.

If need be, we can release our army of bees on Bullet Magnet.

I'm just saying, we've already got one bee-themed weirdo. Two would just be weird.

We have three things going for us: Oddworld (sorta), our gay overlords, and OANST. An apiological faction would complicate matters that much further.

You want me to scrap my entire life's work? I wasted all I had on this house apiary, now, every night, I'm forced to sleep with the bees. I wake up with thousands of stings from the tiny creatures. And you want me to give up now? No, I can't, I've already invested too much into this to go back now.

It's all going to end in a bee battle between Vexen and ScrabTrapMan

My bet is on the newcomer.

It's going to end in total forum meltdown, because you fuckers forgot what this place was built on. Bile and hate. Get it together, people. Fuck.

Unfortunately, my liver was destroyed after years of alcohol abuse. I can't produce bile. Doctors still don't understand how I'm alive. However, I can produce hate. That's easy for me.

The shits in this forum are supposed to hate you. I mean, you're fucking new. Gross. The only thing that you should be producing is a low whimpering sound, followed by barely coherent whining about how Nate was mean to you.

Oh, I apologize. I didn't realize I was supposed to act like an imbecile. I thought that was your job. :p

Mistakes get made.

this made my day. the old days. but the old days are GONE, man! finished! you just a relic, OANST. you just a relic from a bygone age. bitch.

hate. hate with every fibre of your being. you're in the lions den, motherfucker. stake your claim and fight your spot, this is a war we're in. a war against YOU

apparently. i dunno i'm too old for this shit now. take us with a pinch of salt.

Wow, thanks everyone for the warm welcome. I feel at home. Although, you're probably trying to elicit a different response from me.

NO DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE

Come closer, I'll give you a hug.

Even my heart isn't in it. I'm hating purely out of habit now. The joy is gone.

No. This is all part of the test.
We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success.

I remember, man. I remember.

right? it's taking me everything i've got to get into the swing of it again. maybe Nate's right. maybe we're just old, and not funny any more.

nah fuck that. i can still feel it burning away somewhere inside of me. the hate and bile. i'm just a bit rusty. it's like riding a bike; you never forget, you just choose not to after a while.

we are also very sarcastic.

yeah you've been around longer than i realized actually.

My first years were just silent, humble hating you guys from a corner.

but you integrated well. we assimilated you. that's why you weren't dragged outside and shot.

I just went all, full-throttle asshole out there and started insulting all of you. It's a nice change from my everyday nice guy attitude.

Also, it's *you* who assimilated to *me*. The previous forums couldn't withstand the proccess and were forced to leave

Will there be a cake?