Broken Age Beta
 

Pretty soon, those of us who backed the Double Fine Adventure will be getting Steam keys to start playing the beta. I don't play games on the pc, so I'll have no use for it. If you want it, you will need to write me a love letter. The most interesting letter wins! Get to work, you bunch of gays!

Nudity is not required, but hey, why take any chances?

I hate you, from the deepest part of my heart. You're truly an old, fat and horrible person, you disgusting, irritating piece of shit. The thought of you not just being around but purely existing makes me want to puke. You're an arrogant, self-righteous, sarcastic, hard-shell prick who's only goal is to bring sorrow upon others.
<3

I'll accept it.

So, I'll have the beta code tomorrow. Is Varrok really the only one who wants it? Hate letters are accepted as well, after all.

Dear Matthew,

You've been a productive yet "Excrement"y part of our humble community, sometimes we look at you in disgust as we exclaim "That's our OANST"...but who would ever question the fact that you're impressively excrementy? infact, I remember when we used to call you by the full "Old and Not So Tasty", a testament of your excrementingly beautiful achievements.
You, sir, deserve a crown of "sheisse", and thou shalt be recognized as the king of all excrement.

Your fellow hate/love person,
That-Egyptian-Vorarephile-with-an-excrementload-of-insecurities.

That one was pretty good. We've got some competition here, people!

Dear OANST,

You are a one and only. There can never, and I imagine will never, be another person such as yourself. Not just here in the Oddworld Forums, but indeed any forum on, or off, of the internet. Unfortunately, our forum happens to be the forum that ended up getting you. No one else could have been titled "Our worst member ever". When I see you, I am never sure weather to shudder, or applaud. I digress, you are a big part in what makes this community, and joking aside, I am glad that you are here.

Sincerely,
That Person Who Showed Up Out Of Nowhere.

Yes, I know I'm getting very double posty here, but eh, poo on your lips.

Here's a new trailer that focuses on the girl's half of the story. Remember that you play two stories simultaneously which will at some point intersect with each other.

This looks surprisingly good.

It's Double Fine, and it's their flagship project at this point. I'd be surprised if it didn't look really good, or be really good.

It's Tim Schafer's first point-n-click game since Grim Fandango, of course it looks amazing, DUH, it's Tim-Fucking-Schafer.

Oh damn, I didn't realize how high these stakes were!

The stakes are fucking high, man! Like, totally fucking high or something!

Since I talked about double posting before, but didn't actually get to do it so now I do.... and you might can tooooooo.....

Yes.

Roses are tits.
Violets are tits.
You like tits.
Tits.

Vyrien wins.

Tim Schafer was on UK national TV the other day. That was nice.

Vyrien, stop following me around. It's getting weird.

Dear Fat White Bwoi,

I don't love you but I have never heard of Broken Age and I've never played a Doublefine Game. If you give me the key it would deny anyone of these pukes who actually appreciates them, a free game.

- Moderate approval, STM.

don't actually give me a copy, just in case, I don't want it

HONEST,

u give me key for there is none, else face be broken for the key steams of beta and play for the release and love

see how can be done?

Wow, we even got a "see how can be done" entry. Things are really heating up! By the way, the first video got pulled because it wasn't supposed to go public until tomorrow, but awful people like me shared it anyway.

Don't give it to Strike Witch. She didn't like Psychonauts.

Technically GF wasn't point-n-click. It's his first true Adventure game since Grim Fandango and his first point-n-click since Full Throttle.

Damn, it'd certainly win me over... But as I'm being one of these pukes, it wouldn't feel so great anymore...

OANST, remember to read every letter again before making decisions. Especially mine. Even if I don't win, read it again. Twice. Make sure not to miss a single word.

Oh, I've absorbed it, man. It's etched into my soul.

hey OANST

you're a cunt of immeasurable proportions

i don't want the game i just wanted to let you know that.

Appreciated.

fuck you.

Your little peener won't even feel my enormous cunt.

Have you switched roles? I thought MA was the one bragging about his pussy

We realized that he's so small, what we thought was a clitoris was actually his penis.