Embarrasing Experiences
 

Feeling a bit depressed from school, so I decided to make this.
Hopefully it will lighten everyone's mood.
What you do is you type up an embarrasing experience to share. I'll go first...

In fourth grade, I was obsessed with this boy named Brandon. I insisted with being around him, even if he didn't want me to be there.
One day, we went to Gym class to do a sit-ups test. Naturally I got on the mat next to Brandon and started the test.
The test was to do a bunch of sit ups in 60 seconds. Since this wasn't a practice test anymore, and I was trying to look cool in front of brandon, I concentrated on my efforts.
Around the third sit-up, I farted loudly.
Every kid stopped to look at me. Including my crush.
you can imagine the rest for yourself.

I read this thread.

What the fuck, you again?

I've shit myself so many times in my adult years that it doesn't even embarrass me anymore.

I guess I've got nothing.

I made a status on Facebook once and not a single person commented on it or liked it.

I know the feeling bro.

I don't see how that's "embarassing", but okay.

what the fuck is wrong with you two


I once did a rad karate kick in front of some friends but ripped my school pants. They didn't see it for some reason, and assumed the sound of the ripping was some jet-engine fart.

I also once drank bong water. Not deliberately.

I exist.

'Tis an embarrassing paradox.

Let's see, I'm just generally embarassing, too many things to say. I win.

So many alcohol-related embarrassments I don't even know where to start...

Somewhere in the middle of London, near the Thames, there's a sort of square surrounded by several restaurants, all with open air tables. They were pretty full, but we would still have seats. While deciding which to eat at I migrated to the centre of the square, where sat several logs in the end, all of different sizes, with a chunk cut out of them so that they looked like high backed chairs. Therefore I assumed that this is what they were. So I sat on one.

Bad idea.

It immediately toppled over, knocked all of them down, and I went sprawling, legs rolling high in the air. One thousand people saw, watched me attempt to stand them up again (and fail frequently), and talked about me amongst themselves. I was devastated, and pretty paranoid as a result: it seemed like a well-designed trap, I expected some guys from Candid Camera or something to emerge, but they never did.

@Bullet Magnet - hell, I wish I was there

I once got out of a McDonald and I had a coke with me. so I took the bus to drive home, but every seats were occupied, so I had to stand. everytime the driver accelerated, I almost fell of my feet, because I was small and I had to carry a full school bag and so on. finally he braked so hard, I dropped my cup of coke and I spilled it over a suit of a guy standing next to me, which came freshly out of the cleaning. (because it was covered in plastic sheet). but it was ripped and the coke got all over the suit.
anyway the guy didn't realize it yet, because he looked away, but all the sitting people next to us saw what just happened. I remember this older lady looking at me with a shocked expression and I looked back at her with terror. I didn't know what to do, I just wanted to get out of the bus. when it finally came to an halt and the doors opened, I jumped out and raced into the park.

another story that also happened at the bus, which is more weird than embarrassing...

every man in austria has to serve the country for one year, military or civilian services. I did second one three years ago and I worked at a school. anyway, it was great, but very very tiring. So one afternoon, when I drove home with a bus, I was sitting at the very back of the bus, leaning against the window almost asleep. we stop at a bus station and a family is standing outside maybe waiting for another bus, but it's only a mother with two small kids. suddenly one kid looks at me and he shouts:

PAPA!

I go lol? and the other one too PAPA!

the mother tries to pull them away, than also looks at me and stares at me with a puzzled expression.

I was so perplex I didn't know what was going on. I turned to see if anyone was sitting next to me, but I was alone and at the back. before I could do anything the bus drove off.
haha I bet the real dad told the family he's on a business trip or something and I ruined the marriage simply by driving a bus.

well this incident gave me confident that I'll be able to fuck a woman not just once, but twice. luckily the kids didn't shout something like:
"PAPA! why do you show us these ugly grimaces!" - maybe that's exactly what the mother said to her husband when he came home...

At a barbershop, around eight years old, I was waiting for my dad to get his hair done. I saw a guy sit down and he looked close enough to him, so I went over to him. And kissed his nose.

Another,

In art class, we were bringing up emotions that we felt when we saw colors and what we think of when we see the color.
i thought back to midevil time films and how all the peasents were always wearing brown. i was so happy with myself I said loudly "Hey! Poor people are brown!"

I walked into a bar.

It hurt.

Went for a fart, turned out it was a shart.

Har.. Where was it?

A similar event, in secondary school. I had that feeling, the one in your stomach, that you're gonna shit a fountain. I held it in all day, knowing I could wait til I got home.

An hour and a half left of the school day, I just HAD to eat something. Unbearable feeling, I begged the teacher to excuse myself.

Too little to late, I was within meters of the toilet, and my sphincter could no longer contain my bowel contents, and it poured out of me like ruby rivers from a knifed orifice.

Went straight to the office and stupidly said to the vice principal, "I uh...had an 'accident'". Took him a few seconds before the smell came about, and off home I was sent.

Thankfully, no one discovered what transpired. With good reason, a guy a year ahead of me was the laughing stock of the school for shitting himself in first year.

Ah, good times.

Hmm, I got one maybe, have you ever had a crush on a girl and while drunk told your 'your best friends, ever, no seriously guys, ever, big secret, I know you'll keep it' blindly stupid. A few days later one of the guys I told had his crush found out and to lessen the sheer bollocking he would face, stood up and shouted almost as loud as he could in the middle of my whole form. 'Aidan fancies girl-'x', needless to say it took me a while to live down the horror of that moment and what came after, we're not so close any more. Oh but on the plus side the girl that found out he liked her started crying, no such embarrassment for me.

Aidan?

What I liked was how he used his real name but omitted "girl-x".

This thread wins the prize for the most amusing number of farts ever.

His is the only name he has the unambiguous right to reveal.

Shut up Marcus Sampson.

Hmm, the number of farts in this page is larger than other pages...
I have this thing i do when I get bored - i listen to other conversations out of context. Today i was listening to David talk to the art teacher while we carved some plaster. Having nothing to talk about, I listened in to his complaints.
David exclaimed "But it's too hard!"
The art teacher said "It's supposed to be that hard."
David replied "But it was so much softer a few minutes ago!"
I could not stop laughing and no one could figure out why. The most influencial person in the room called me a retard and told me to shut up. Looking from the outside, I can see why he did that.

Hmm, that wasn't that embarrasing...

Another then. Okay, so these demons in Silent Hill called Lurkers look really odd. For those of you who don't know them, they look like people with big scythe-like metal claws and drag themselves around on the floor because their legs are cocooned in dead skin. Most noticible about these demons is their mouths, which look, for lack of a better term, like pussies.
While doodling a lurker in math, the nosy kid sitting next to me asked me why he "had a vagina for a mouth". I sighed and told him How it was supposed to represent sexual frusteration and potential danger behind even attractive appearances. A Prep leaned over the desk I sat at and loudly said "HA PUSSY FACE!"
Of course everyone had to go see, Which evoked questions of what I was drawing and why.

Fuck off Joe Minerva Doubtfire.

I was watching the movie "chicken run" and when the lady said chickens go in and pie's come out, I thought that what kind of pie's was a perfectly reasonable question. to make matters worse I didn't grasp sarcsm back then and so when the lady said apple I thought for a few seconds that it made apple pie's, someone had to explain to me that you can't turn chickens into apples. this happened when I was about 12

Haha, dumb.

I was once rejected for snoo snoo.

I was embarrassed.

during winter at the farm, my boss, the herdsman and i were rounding up young heifers for artificial insemination. i happened to be standing next to my boss, and it was icy. amongst all the running around i fell onto my arse, not just once, but three times in a fucking row in the space of about five seconds. i would have preferred it if i had fallen onto my knees or hands, but it was the arse every single time. it was a miracle i wasn't trampled, and my boss was not amused. miserable fucker.

I was out during a really snowy, busy day in the build up to Christmas. This means that the snow is usually very compacted around four o'clock. Anyways, I bought a game and was trying to make it back to my parents car before they fucked off because I did not want to carry the game around all day. Well, I was running back to the car whenever I clumsily slipped and went perfectly horizontal in the air before sliding near enough under a moving car.

The streets were quite crowded and it's hard not to notice a man trying to take off into the skies. I ran onwards still muttering shite multiple times under my breath. Good times.