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-   -   Order a pizza via phone and... (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=1851)

One, Two, Middlesboogie 12-03-2001 05:24 PM

Order a pizza via phone and...
 
  • If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
  • Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
  • Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
  • Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
  • Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
  • Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
  • Answer their questions with questions.
  • In your breathiest and sexiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
  • Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
  • Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
  • Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
  • Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
  • Stutter on the letter "p."
  • Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
  • Ask what the order taker is wearing.
  • Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
  • Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
  • Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
  • Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
  • Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
  • Change your accent every three seconds.
  • Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
  • Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
  • Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
  • If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
  • Rent a pizza.
  • Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
  • Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
  • Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
  • Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
  • Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
  • Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
  • Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
  • Imitate the order taker's voice.
  • Eliminate verbs from your speech.
  • When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
  • Play a sitar in the background.
  • Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
  • Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
  • Ask to see a menu.
  • Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
  • Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
  • Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
  • Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
  • Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

Gluk Schmuck 12-03-2001 06:19 PM

You don't make those all up yourself, do you?

Danny 12-03-2001 06:42 PM

I didn't know she pretended she did, but that doesn't stop them from being funny... :D

SeaRex 12-03-2001 08:25 PM

WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! A ha ha ha! ha... ha... cant... stop... ha... laughing... he, he... so... funny... need breath... *THUD*

Steve 12-03-2001 08:49 PM

ask htem if you could speak with the animals that are going to be on the pizza after ordering a meat lovers pizza.

oddite4456 12-04-2001 01:29 AM

Hahahahahahahahahaha!
I've got to try this. Where did I put the Dominos number?

Surfacing 12-04-2001 02:27 AM

arrhhh, we don't have macers home delievery here in australia, it would be good to try on a pizza place though!
Thanxs for the tip :D

abe22 12-05-2001 03:01 AM

Change your accent every 3 seconds. I did this a year ago when I did a crank call to this restaurant it was very funny. :D