The Odd World
 

Disclaimer - Yes, Razor and the style of the story REALLY ARE based on "The Oddworld Alliance". <-- great fanfic


Prologue

Part 1 - RAZOR

Hi! I'm Razor. Actually, I am "Slig number 12300986". I'll tell you the story as Abe told it to me. But first, let me present myself. I'm a Slig. A GOOD Slig. I lost my left arm when I fell into a meat grinder at work, at Rupture Barns. The Vykkers put on me a green-eyed mask, advanced pants (storage places, can transform into helicopter and submarine) and a cool shiny new robotic arm. The hand has extensible claws and can turn into a razor (RAZ-R U77, more precise). That's why I'm called Razor.

Why would Vykkers invest in a Slig -1 arm?
Did the traumatic event of falling into a meat grinder open his eyes to how the world was? Did he escape the lessons of being cruel as he grew up? Has he been hiding his kindness from other Sligs? How'd he get good?

1. Not the Vykkers invested. The Glukkons did that. You'll see WHY later, in the story.
2. No.
3. No.
3. Yes.
4. He was already good. He just... resisted the lessons. Cruel in the lessons, kind with Mudokons outside. Hell, he even gave good food to Mudokons he "crueled" and felt very sad for Mudokons. He helped them when he could.

Edit: Hey, post something for me to continue with the story!

Sorry for double-post!

IC: It was morning. A very unusual morning. Abe and Munch were going to MaSpa... I think. A Steef-guy appeared and said that MaSpa is closed because of a guy, Sketo. There was water. Lots of it. Under the fences. Abe said to Munch : Hey, Munch, It's your turn. Munch swam to the other side. A horrible Munch-ish scream. A horrible Abe-ish scream. MUNCH WAS EATEN ALIVE! Abe went to Alf. MOM said it's a great day. All the Sligs went "Hooraaaaay!". I was sad. AND Abe was distraught. They had Spy reporters that knew everything they said Abe was very depressed. Now the poor Fuzzles and Muds had NOCHANCE (<-- no typo). Alf offered to help Abe. It was hard.


Kill the Sea Rex that ate Munch. - Rather impossible



Tickle it to spit Munch. Weird.



Enter the Rex and save Munch. IT WORKED!

It is much better if it's realistic.

It's written in quite a strange style of writing, which is very hard to understand. And please, be realistic about things, and who is this Slig's mother? Skillya? Wouldn't she send him off to work rather than talk to him?

1. I CAN change anything in my story. Please don't complain about it being unrealistic.
2. Skillya SENT him to work. He just has a different vision of the world.
3. His name isn't "this Slig", Jordan, It's Razor.
4. The Sea Rex swallowed Munch whitout chewing. Like Boa snakes.
5. The style is actually... Razor's style! He is telling the story.

Wouldn't Munch have been digested by the SeaRex's stomoch acid before they managed to save him? And if they went inside wouldn't they have been digested by the SeaRex's stomoch acid? How did they get out of its stomoch? Which way did they go to get out (through its mouth or rear)? You're style is very 'Odd' but oh well.

IC: OK now, so, Munch was saved. MOM - BREAKING NEWS! BIG DANGER ; The Daily Deception - Oh-oh, here comes trouble! Abe and Munch on an Executive killing spree. Well, at least, I was happy.
Oh, the story, yeah, OK. The guys went back to Alf. I think they teamed up or something. They wanted to blow up a factory. A weird Gluk told them that Marty, the boss of Rupture Barns is a Mud-hunt maniac. The guys didn't believe them until they saw a (genuine) poster. They went through a jungle. A Scrab almost ate Abe. The jungle was full of pesky Karamites (think spiders).

To be continued...

Has potential, but needs a bit of work. Rather than going back and explaining in posts how things work (like the immunity to acid, or using a rope) actually mention it and describe it in detail in the chapters. It'd make things easier to follow and save you the time from writing explanations. :)

Also, I actually think the style is promising. Jordan, as you may or may not recall (Dunno if you've read the book) Bram Stoker's original Dracular novel was in a similar style- letters and diary entries. This reminds me of a diary-style fic, which are hard to pull off but can be good.

And to save asking, Jungle Scrabs were a protoype concept I thought of long ago. I considered how many animals in the real world have different subspecies, and rarely stick to 1 environment- the many forms of big cats, or apes, or bears, are good examples. So I figured it's not unplausible to suggest the same for oddworld, hence the Jungle Scrab. Slightly smaller and slimmer to enable more lithe movement in the clustered terrain, skin shading to green for better camouflage, and a tendancy to stay truly solitary (as opposed to the Desert/Plains Scrabs which of course ocasionally form AlphaScrab herds) with rigid territories.

Well, when the questions get asked I invent answers.

It's far better to ask yourself the questions and reason logic into your answers, it makes for a far more realistic story and it doesn't feel as rushed.

I'm really not trying to be mean here Horia. You're telling us you'll answer these questions later in the story. But why not answer them as you're going along?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but the name of your fanfiction... Seriously?

OOC.: Sorry for the big pause. Oh, and the name is The Odd World, Leto.

IC.: OK. They finally got at the factory. The plan wasn't easy (they had to provoke a riot), but there wasn't other way because of some weird laser turrets on the Slig Bunkers. They made a Slig shoot another. They started to shoot until they finally bagan a riot. I protected Alex, a girl Mudokon (I found her when trying to make omlettes). TBC...