Oddworld Forums - Shrown (story)

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I never considered Oddworld fan fiction before. But last night I got an idea in my head so I started writing. Now I have the first three chapters of a story I never planned to make. I suppose it's a bit like AO, only with a Slig for a main charactor. I thought I would put the first chapter on here just to see what people think. If people like it I will add the others, but I will limit the amount I add a week so I don't have to rush the writing. Critisism is welcomed as long as it is constructive. Enjoy!

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A quick explanation about Slig numbers: A Slig's number is decided depending on when he hatched. So for example, 5-12-3-27. The 5 means he was the fifth to be born. The 12 means he hatched on the twelfth day. The three means he hatched in the third month. And the 27 is the year he hatched. So, our main character was the fifth to hatch on the 12th of the 3rd 3027. I hope that hasn't confused you!

SHROWN

Chapter 1

I open my eyes. It takes some time for them to adjust to the darkness, but when they do I find that I’m in a small metal room. I’m lying on the ground. When I move my limbs are stiff with the cold that seeps from the floor. A beam of moonlight shines through a single glass window behind me. It falls upon the door of what I presume is my cell. The door is also made from metal, and there is another window in the middle of it, but this one has several bars crisscrossing through it rather than a pane of glass.

“Hey, what’s your name?” a voice whispers. I jump alert at the sudden sound. Surprisingly, I still have my mask and my metal legs, which is strange as these are usually taken from Sligs who ‘break the rules’. I grope around in the darkness but I can’t find my gun. I wasn’t expecting it to be here but it was worth looking for anyway.

“Can you hear me?” says the voice again. I walk to the door and peer through the window. Opposite my cell is another cell. The two are probably identical. A Slig looks through the window at me. He looks worried.

“My number is 5-12-3-27,” I say flatly.

The Slig seems happy I have spoken to him. “I’m 14-9-1-27,” he says, “but you can call me Zevenk.”

“Zevenk,” I nod. “I’m Shrown.” After a pause, I add, “Where are we?”

Zevenk looks as if he is about to speak, but instead he quickly ducks out of sight. I begin to ask him what he is doing, but then a Big Bro Slig stalks past, his mechanical legs clanking on the floor. He looks at me with a mixture of suspicion and disgust on his face. He disappears from sight as he moves past my cell, but I can still hear his legs buzzing and clicking. When the sound has faded, Zevenk reappears.

“Sorry,” he says, “but they don’t like us talking. Anyway, you’re telling me you don’t know where we are? No one told you?”

I shake my head. “I can’t remember much,” I answer, which is the truth.

He sighs. “This is a prison for criminal Sligs. They put us to work here, like Mudokon slaves.”

Mudokon slaves, ah, now my memory returns. I know why I am here. I defied orders to kill a Mudokon that had tried to escape from the factory I work in. I just couldn’t find it within myself to pull the trigger. After all, the poor thing was defenceless and scared out of its skin. It would have been slaughter. Besides, I couldn’t blame it for wanting to escape the factory. I hated it there myself. I tell you, ever since I first witnessed two Sligs beating a slave to death my thoughts have been different.

“I’m here because I killed a Glukkon,” Zevenk continues. “The idiot was always bossing me around. So I shot him. Why are you here?”

I consider telling my story to this guy I have known for less than three minutes. But then I decide to stay with what I said before.

“Like I said, I can’t remember anything.”

“Too bad,” he replies. “I bet you have a good story to tell.”

Yeh right, I think as I sit back down on the floor. It is absolutely freezing but I force myself to put up with it. I close my eyes to try and get some sleep.

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So tell me what you think please?

Interesting start. 'Nice slig' theme is as old as the hills, but this could still be interesting. I enjoyed reading it at any rate so I might keep an eye on this.

Very good. I like it so far. :)

Thanks for the comments. I know its only been a few hours and I said I would limit my posts but I'm really board so I'm just going to give you the next chapter. I know this story is probably a bit cliched but I hope it turns out ok and you all like it.

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Chapter 2

“Slig 5-12-3-27, you are charged with defying orders given to you by a commanding officer and for helping aid a possible escape. Do you understand the charges?"

I look up at the Glukkon talking to me. He looks and speaks like he’s only got half a brain. Surprising, since he’s the one who runs this prison and organises everything. “I understand,” I say. What else can I say?

“In two days you will board a train that will take you, as well as some others, to see Queen Skillya. You will tell her everything, and she will decide what will happen to you. Do you understand?”

Again, grimly, I answer yes.

“Good. You may go back to your cell until farther notice.”

Relieved, I stand from my chair and walk towards the door. I’m in this Glukkon’s office and he was telling me what I did wrong. A pointless speech, but they like it when they think they are doing something important. Anyway, I make my way towards the door. Outside there is a Shrink waiting for me (yes, they actually have Shrinks in this place!). It has the face of a Slig rather than that of a Mudokon. It extends its arms when it sees me, as if it wants a hug. (Can you imagine hugging a Shrink?)

“Slig 5-12-3-27, I am to escort you back to –”

“Yeh, yeh, I know. But I’ve been here four days. I think I know my way back to my own cell.”

The Shrink folds its arms slightly and comes closer to me, clenching its metal hands into fists. “Yes, but I have to escort you anyway. Let’s just call it a lack of trust. Are you ready to go back to your cell, Slig 5-12-3-27?”

“Whatever.” I push past the Shrink and stomp away, leaving it to follow closely behind. God, those things are annoying!

Security cameras can be seen wherever you turn. They fly around checking that no one is making trouble. One flies up to me, takes a quick look at what I am doing, then zooms away. I ignore them mostly, but they do get on your nerves when they are constantly following you around, as they do with me sometimes.

I can see Sligs cleaning floors and walls and bits of machinery. There are great big machines that we have to operate. They don’t do much, mainly melt down metal, but they are complex and difficult to use. I was told a Slig fell into one once and burned to death. Makes me shudder to think of it.

The Shrink comes up next to me. “So what is your sentence?” I can’t believe what I am hearing! It’s actually trying to make conversation? Must be some new programming or something.

“I’m to see Queen Skillya in two days,” I say. Best to be polite, I suppose.

“Ahh, I see. She will know what to do.”

I role my eyes. What is it trying to do, be friends with me? It’s torture enough having it follow me. At least I will be outta’ here soon, I tell myself silently.

After ten minutes of walking and putting up with attempted conversations from the Shrink, I finally reach my cell. I walk in and close the door behind me. The Shrink locks it, then looks through the window. “Good luck with everything,” it says happily, then folds its arms, twirls around and disappears through a hole in the ceiling. I slump to the floor in relief.

“That new programming is a real nightmare,” Zevenk says from his cell. We’ve become good friends since I arrived, but I still haven’t told him why I am here. What would he say if he learned I was a big softy who couldn’t even shoot a slave?

“Tell me about it. It even asked me what my sentence was. I mean come on!”

“I know,” he laughed. “The other day one asked me how I liked this place. When I said I hated it here, it replied ‘we are trying to make it pleasanter’. Made me laugh.”

I think of something to say. I have a feeling he is about to ask me something. I also have an idea of what it is going to be.

“What is your sentence anyway?”

Yep, I was right!

“In two days I’m getting on a train and going to see Queen Skillya.”

“That’s a coincidence. I’m going to see her in two days as well. Guess we’ll be travelling together?”

“I guess.” Part of me is happy that he is coming because it means I wont be on my own (I haven’t really got to know any other Sligs here), but part of me hates it because he can be really annoying sometimes. Firstly, when he starts talking sometimes he doesn’t stop. Secondly, he snores. And thirdly, he’s always moaning at the quality of the food (personally, I think it’s the best gruel I’ve ever had). But I suppose it will be good to have the company.

There’s no work for me to do and it’s really boring so I go to sleep for a couple of hours.

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Comments Please!

OH NOEZ! GREY TEXTS!

This looks like it's going to be a fantastic fanfic!

Still enjoying this; your main character is slightly banal, but that's good; it's unusual. I look forward to learning more about him; will they reach Skillya's place or will thier journey be hindered? And if they make it there, what will happen to them?
Even if a plot is slightly cliched, unusual and interesting characters can make it a worthy read.

A very good chapter. :)

Yay people like it! I'm on chapter 9 at the moment, so I'll post chapter 3 later today (I'm at school at the moment). It refers to a different character and happens before the first two chapters but it should be ok. And Splat, I'm afraid you will have to wait to find the answers to those questions!

Here's chapter 3, as I promised earlyer!

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Chapter 3

3 days before Shrown woke up in prison…
Vechk rubbed his eyes. His head ached terribly from the constant howling and screaming that came from the cage. The creature had been caught the previous day. At first it had just been shot by a Slig in an act of self defence. The bullets had pierced its wing joint and its chest, allowing it to fall to the ground where it lost consciousness. It was just the thing he needed for his experiment, so upon hearing the news Vechk had done all he could to get his hands on it before it was killed and chopped up for food. He had then taken it back to the underground lab he worked in. He knew it was a valuable experiment and that it would up his reputation which had rapidly dropped among the other Vykkers, but right now he just wanted it to be dead.

“Will you SHUT UP?!” Vechk shrieked in his high-pitched voice. He had put up with its complaining ever since it woke up, four hours earlier. He had decided to keep it in his lab rather than the animal pens because he didn’t want anyone to steal it. But if he had known it would be this bad he would have happily put it in the pens.

Vechk’s sudden words only made things worse. The creature cried out even louder, and it began to hurl its body against the bars of the cage. Its wings flapped wildly, unable to open to their full extent due to the lack of space. It head-butted the bars with such force that the cage rattled loudly, and Vechk was suddenly worried that it wouldn't hold.

“You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that. And if you are hurt I can’t operate on you. Just be thankful you weren’t turned into food,” Vechk said to the creature. He knew it wouldn’t understand him. All it did was howl, growl and snarl. He put his head in his hands and went to the opposite wall of his lab where he kept the tranquilizers. Picking up a syringe, he filled it halfway with the green liquid.

“You’re going to be injected with this. At least that way I can get to sleep.” Vechk abruptly stopped. How was he going to inject it? It would tare off his arm as soon as he reached into the cage. He would need an Intern to shoot the thing instead. Putting down the syringe, he left his lab to search for one.

As he was walking, a familiar voice sounded from behind him. “Hey Vechk, you still got that thing in your lab? Or was that you making all that noise?”

Vechk stopped in his tracks. He turned around to face who was talking. This was the last thing he needed.

“If you want my opinion you should kill it now. The experiment won’t work. All it’s going to do is make you seem more pathetic, if that’s even possible.”

“I don’t want your opinion, Crelet,” he answered. Crelet was always picking out his faults and teasing him about his work. “The experiment will work, and when it does you will be the pathetic one, not me.”

Crelet shrugged. “Eh, whatever. I’m going for a break. I suggest you do something about that noise because, well, people are beginning to complain.” And with that, he turned on the spot and disappeared down the corridor.

“When my experiment is complete he’s the first one I’m sending it after,” Vechk promised himself. He hated Crelet even more than he hated niceness to animals. He would get his revenge.

But first he had to find an Intern.

Hooray for multi-dimentional plots!
Nice chapter, amusing.

Woaw!! Your story is amazing. I love the description in the first chapter.

This is a really fun read. Vechk made me laugh. :D
Keep it up!

Interesting first person on Shrown. And a real interesting way to put in two plots. I bet they'll become one big problem in the end. I'll be checking back on this.

I'm going to post the next chapter now because there's a chance that I'm going to be disconected from the internet due to the people sending us the wrong bills and then not doing anything about the problem. So if I don't post any more chapters for a while you know why. Anyway, this one goes back to Shrown and adds a couple of new charactors to the story.

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Chapter 4

A Flying Slig was killed yesterday. The fool thought he could escape through an open window. He didn’t realise there were motion detectors outside. He was killed by a collision with a flying mine.
I didn’t know him, of course. I just thought you would find that interesting.
Anyway, today is the day I’m to see Queen Skillya. Zevenk is nervous, I can tell. He keeps muttering to himself and stuff. If you want my opinion, I don’t give a damn about what Skillya says. If she sentences me to death then so be it. It will be better than living around Shrinks for the rest of my life.
Mostly we work for the day. Everything is pretty uneventful so I won’t bore you with the details. Zevenk keeps flinching whenever a guard walks past. I try and reassure him but it doesn’t work. Looking at him now, I wonder; how did he ever shoot his master?
It isn’t until evening when a Big Bro Slig approaches us.
“5-12-3-27? 14-9-1-27?”
“Yeh?” Zevenk and I answer at the same time.
Big Bro stares at us for a while. “You are to follow me to the train,” he finally says. (I can’t be sure, but I think I just heard Zevenk squeak.)
We stop our work half way through and follow him. I had a chance to be a Big Bro once, but I refused. Didn’t like the idea of being pumped full of chemicals, and I still don’t. Can’t be any good for you.
As we make our way to the other side of the jail (where the trains are) I bump into the Shrink from the other day. I silently scream with exasperation.
“5-12-3-27!” it exclaims. Honestly, why can’t people just call me Shrown? It would make things so much easier. The Shrink continues, “You’re heading for the trains, I take it?” It has a really cheerful voice for some reason or another.
I nod my head in answer.
“Well, I hope everything goes well for you. See you soon!”
Oh, I hope not!
Zevenk snickers as the Shrink goes. I look at him with exaggerated helplessness, and he laughs some more.
We finally reach the trains. The Big Bro Slig shoves us inside and we are handcuffed by a guard. I don’t see the point of us being handcuffed. It’s not as if any of us are going to be able to escape, even if we try. We’re not the only prisoners here. There are about a dozen others, all handcuffed. Most of them are walking Sligs, but I see a couple Flyers and even a Big Bro (at first I thought he was one of the guards, but then I realised his mask lacked the red stripe that defines the guards from the prisoners). We are herded into separate rooms, much like the prison cells only bigger and with seats. The window is also bigger, but I don’t know why. You wouldn’t think they want you to enjoy the view.
I get put in a room with Zevenk and two others that I haven’t seen before. The door closes behind us and I hear the key in the lock. I sit by the window; Zevenk sits just up from me in the corner. The other two sit opposite us. They look like they don’t know each other.
When everything is organised and the guards are in place I feel the train begin to rumble and move. It starts off slowly, but then I sense its speed increase. Everyone in the room is silent. To take my mind off things I look out the window. At first I just see the walls of the train station. But then when the train gets into the open I see the prison from the outside for the very first time. (I was unconscious when I was brought here.)
The place is surrounded by mine fields and electric fences. Security cameras, flying mines, motion detectors; they’re all here. I see a couple of Slogs messing around with each other far below. I used to have a Slog, but I guess she’s been given a new owner now.
Surrounding everything is a dense forest. I haven’t a clue where in Mudos we are. Possibly in the south? I know Queen Skillya is in the east, but not many know her exact location because she is too valuable to the Glukkons.
The prison rapidly shrinks behind us. The forest canopy is quite far below. The rumbling of the train has quietened a bit since it started up. The sun set a while ago and it’s a clear night, with hardly any clouds. You can see loads of stars and five moons, including that weird one with the hand-print on it. The forest looks all silvery in the moons’ light.
How nice.
I sigh and move my gaze from the window to the floor. Zevenk is huddled up to the wall. He is older than me by a couple of months, but sometimes he acts several years younger. He looks frightened now. He’s trying to hide it but he isn’t doing a very good job. I want to say something but my mind is blank.
The train rumbles onwards. No one in the room speaks for an hour (it feels like an hour, but there are no clocks) and it gets really boring. But then one of the Sligs opposite me breaks the silence.
“So what are you lot here for? I tried to escape from the factory I worked in. I got out, but then I was caught and taken to that lousy prison.”
Zevenk looks up. “What factory?” he inquires.
“A meat processing plant named RuptureFarms. Don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it. Anyway, I heard rumours that it was going to be attacked, so six of us decided to group together and make a run for it. Only four of us escaped, though. The others got shot. Next thing we know we’re surrounded by Sligs in the Stockyards and then we wake up in jail. But we were lucky, ‘cause I was told a couple of days later that RuptureFarms got blown up.”
“Where are the others that escaped?” I ask, intrigued.
“They’re in another room on this train. Our plan was to stick together but one of the guards separated us. But enough about me, you tell me why you’re here.”
Zevenk goes first. He explains how he used to work for a Glukkon who kept having him do really arduous tasks. Zevenk got fed up so he grabbed his gun one day and pulled the trigger at the Glukkon. Shot him right between the eyes. The Slig talking to us laughed his head off when he heard this (well, not literally). I couldn’t help but laugh a little, too.
He turns to me. “You look like you have a good story to tell.”
Why does everyone keep saying that?
I merely shake my head and say, “It doesn’t matter; it’s not that good.” He shrugs and turns to the last Slig in the room, the only one that hasn’t spoken a word.
“And you? You got anything to say?”
The Slig looks at him. “No,” he mutters angrily. “I haven’t got anything to say.”
“Oh come on,” Zevenk pleads. “We told you ours.”
“Well my one is more shameful than all yours put together. If I tell you I’ll never have a reputation again, let alone friends. If I live after seeing Skillya, that is.”
“It can’t be that bad,” I pipe in.
He shakes hid head and remains silent. We prod him with our words, trying to make him give up his secret. We must be really annoying him because in the end it works.
“Fine, I’ll tell you! The reason I am here is because I helped a group of four Mudokons escape from a fuel factory I worked in.”
Silence in the room. Even I feel repulsed. I mean sure; I didn’t kill the slave because it was defenceless. And when that one was beaten to death, again it was defenceless. But you don’t help Mudokons escape! They are lower beings, after all! I look over to Zevenk. He has a look of pure horror on his face. The Slig who started the conversation (he hasn’t told us his name yet, and we haven’t told him ours) is trying to hide his disgust.
“Oh, well. Umm, so, did they escape?”
“Yes, but I didn’t.”
The conversation dies there and an awkward silence follows. I think about how he must be hating himself for telling us. I also think about how cowardly I have been for not telling them about myself.

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I really hope my internet doesn't get cut off :fuzsad:

Interesting idea with the six sligs escape. This prison reminds me about Alcatraz. The four mudokons I find a little bit unbeleivable but then again you do get odd fellows once in a while. I hope you don't lose internet either.

Good luck with the internet troubles! Always nasty when it looks like you're going to loose access for a while.

Nice chapter, the characters of these new sligs are interesting. The surly, miserable, angry guy who frees slaves in his spare time... :p I hope to hear more from him, why he chose to help them for example, but we shall see. It certainly stops Shrown from looking so bad anyway.
I liked what you did with Shrown, still keeping his secret even after the toher slig admitted to freeing slaves. It shows weakness in his character, which is a good thing cus it makes it more interesting! I'm sure it'll come out sooner or later anyway, but I'm enjoying this so keep writing!

This is awesome. And I really like Shrown's personality. Very belivable. I hope your internet stays, cuz' I want to hear more from you. :D

Well it's been roughly a week and I've kept my internet! But the people havn't done anything about the over-charging so there's still a chance I could be cut off any day. But apart from that, I do believe it's time for another chapter...

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Chapter 5

The train hasn’t stopped yet. We’re still handcuffed and we’re locked in the same room. The sun’s high up so I guess it’s about midday. The Sligs told us their names. The RuptureFarms-escapee is Blege and the Mud-hugger is Creck. Creck doesn’t say much, unlike Blege who keeps trying to get a conversation going. He doesn’t ramble on like Zevenk though. No one’s given us any food, so we’re all hungry.
The landscape outside the window has changed from forest to grassland. There are also mountains in the distance, which are getting bigger and bigger with each passing hour. It looks like it’s going to rain because the sky is dark and cloudy. I also saw a heard of Scrabs a while back.
“Well this is boring,” Blege points out. “I don’t care about seeing Skillya, even if she does decide to cook me. It’s the waiting I hate.” He has a moody tone to his voice. He hasn’t been very happy since Creck told us he likes to help Mudokons.
“Yeh, well, I’m sure we’ll be there soon,” I tell him. “Hang on, WHAT??”
Blege looks at me funny. “What about what?”
“You said she was going to cook you. What are you talking about?”
He laughs. “I don’t believe this, you don’t know? You must be the last one on Oddworld that doesn’t.”
“Know what?” I shriek, standing up from my seat. Everyone is staring at me. Even Creck has looked up from his trance-like state.
“Umm, Shrown, Queen Skillya has been known to eat Sligs who disobey the Magog Cartel. She has them cooked. Alive,” Zevenk informs me. My mind sort of freezes. Now I know why he’s been so nervous and jumpy, and why Creck never speaks.
“Oh, right,” I say. I collapse back down.
“Don’t worry though. She only eats those who have been really bad,” Blege carries on. He gives Creck a sneaky look before continuing. “You say that what you did wasn’t that important, so I doubt you’ll be in the situation.”
“Yay,” I say absently, my mind filled with gruesome thoughts. How can I not have heard of that when everyone else has?
After a while, Zevenk whispers, “Maybe we should try and escape? We may have a chance, ya’ know.”
“You don’t honestly believe that do you?” Blege says, a little too loudly. “Did you even bother looking at how much security there was?”
Zevenk snaps back, “Oh right, I forgot, ‘cause last time you tried to escape from somewhere you failed miserably.”
“Ha, at least I don’t shoot Glukkons. Where’s the honour in that?”
“And at least I don’t run away from threats! You had no proof RuptureFarms was going to be attacked and yet you ran anyway.”

“I’m the one who runs from threats? Look at you then, proposing that we all escape from this train!”
I cut in before things turn nasty.
“Look, we all hate this situation, but arguing isn’t going to do anything about it!”
“You tell him that,” mutters Zevenk. I pretend I didn’t hear him. Instead I continue like there was no interruption.
“To be honest, I agree. Escaping sounds like a good idea, especially after the information you lot have filled me in on. I’m up for it, and Zevenk is. Blege, you’re obviously not. What about you, Creck?
Creck doesn’t answer. He’s too busy staring out the window.
“Creck? Are you for escaping or not?” shouts Blege.
“Not anymore,” he sighs. I look out the window, following his stare. We are rapidly approaching a huge metal tower. The very sight of it fills me with dread. The walls are black, and the air around it looks foul and polluted. A dirty river flows past it. Craning my neck, I see that the train tracks head straight for a point near the top of the tower. My hopes of escaping dissipate before they are even properly formed.
“Damn, we’re too late.” I say this to myself, rather than the others. Everyone goes quiet again when I show them where we’re heading.
Some time later, the train enters through into the tower and stops at a platform. Fear of being cooked and eaten weighs down on me heavily. I sit, waiting for the door to open and for us to be dragged out. I hope Queen Skillya doesn’t make my punishment too severe. I reckon Blege will get off lightly. After all, what he did was just self defence. I’m not sure about Zevenk, but I highly doubt Creck will be forgiven for his actions.
The door is opened by a guard. The four of us step out of the room, and we’re met by even more guards, all with guns. We see no other prisoners though. They must still be in their rooms.
The Slig who opened the door speaks to us. “You will all follow me. Don’t even think about trying to escape because you will be shot instantly by my friend here.” He gestures to a Big Bro. “If you are wondering where the other prisoners are, they will stay in their rooms until the Queen is finished with you lot. Now move!”
We’re all pushed forwards, out of the train and onto the platform. The entire place is made from metal, and every sound is exaggerated by echoes. The air is stale and unpleasantly warm. If this is where Skillya is, I don’t know how she copes.
We head towards the far wall where a Ball Car waits for us. We follow obediently, the Big Bro Slig bringing up the rear. I try to ask the leader what the most likely thing to happen to us is, but he silences me with a wave. “No talking,” he warns.
The Ball Car takes us down, down, down. Me and Zevenk exchange anxious glances. Creck stands apart from us, and Blege examines his finger nails calmly. He’s trying to be the one who doesn’t care, but I bet you anything that inside he’s trembling more than a Fuzzle that knows it’s about to be operated on. If he wants to be like that let him, I say in my head.
The Ball Car suddenly comes to a halt. The door slides open and we step out. I find myself in a much different environment than before. It looks like we’re underground, in some sort of cave. The walls are rough-cut stone, and the ground is covered in a thick layer of soil. Electric lights cast an orangey-red glow over everything, and my skin looks a funny colour. It’s also cooler down here, much to my relief.
The Ball Car door closes behind us, making me jump. The cave isn’t really that big, just a few meters across in each direction. At the far end there is a shiny metal door leading to a tunnel leading to somewhere else. We walk to the middle of the cave before the lead Slig stops and talks to us.
“14-9-1-27, you are to go first. Everyone else, wait here.”
Zevenk freezes. He searches the cave, as if looking for an escape. Seeing nothing, he bravely walks towards the tunnel. He enters, and the door closes.
It feels like an age passes before the door opens again and he remerges. I was expecting him to be angry or upset or something. Instead, to my utter dismay, he has a faint smile on his face and he comes walking out confidently. He trots up to and stands next to me, trying so hard to conceal his joy.
I am very confused.
The Slig that brought us down here speaks suddenly. “5-12-3-27, you’re next.”
My pondering Zevenk’s happiness is short-lived. I stare at the others helplessly. Blege doesn’t look at me, Creck tries a reassuring look and Zevenk gives me a pat on the shoulder. Then, awkwardly and reluctantly, I take trembling steps towards the tunnel. I stand on the threshold and hesitate. Could I possibly refuse to enter?
Before I have time to speak, the Big Bro Slig pushes me in and the door bangs shut.

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Oooh, what's going to happen? Will Shrown be cooked? (I didn't make that up, OWI said it themselves.) Will he be sent back to prison?? Why was Zevenk so happy??? Unfortuantly the next chapter talks about Vechk so you'll have to wait until chapter 7 to find out!

Really sorry about that.

Grr, what happens to him? I want to know! Post soon!

Your methods of paragraphing give me nightmares! D=

But srsly :D I like it, the first person approach is fresh and theres enough in to keep me interested.

Well hurry up and update! The wait is killing my brain!
:C

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Your methods of paragraphing give me nightmares! D=

Yay my stuff's giving people nightmares :fuzvamp: ! lol I usualy paragraph differently but for some reason it always get's messed up when I copy and paste the chapters from microsoft word to the forums. And so I have to seperate the paragraphs like you see here. I don't really like it but it saves time.

And I'm sorry everyone but you will all have to wait! I'm writing really slowly lately and I need time to get ahead.

Yeah, you can't indent paragraphs in the forums so you have to double space them or its unclear for the reader.

I know that...it's just the thought of all those jeering faces! :eek:

Oh my... I wasn't expecting that Zevenk would somehow be happy. Vechk is going to be in the next chapter... Plotline becomes thicker.

Nice job so far, keep up the good work.

I present: Chapter 6! Sorry for the extreme shortness.

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Chapter 6

The day before Shrown woke up in prison…
“I can’t believe it! I was right! It worked! Now who’s a worthless Vykker, Crelet?”
Vechk stared at his creation in pride. He had done it. It had taken him sixteen and a half hours with only three rests to complete, but he had done it.
He slumped into his chair in exhaustion. There were still tests to do, such as how it fought, how it reacted to its master (Vechk), and whether or not the arms worked. They should work, he told himself. He had very carefully planned how he would attach them to its nervous system. And then there was the implant he had put in its brain to enhance intelligence. Again, he had planned that for days. He was prepared to throw everything away and start again from scratch if this experiment failed, but he had a feeling that that wouldn’t be necessary.
The creature was still unconscious. At first Vechk thought it dangerous to keep it on gas for so long, but he had taken the chance anyway. If there was any damage, he could fix it later. Now all he had to do was get the creature back in its cage before it woke, just in case the brainwashing hadn’t worked. He got a couple of Interns to help him with that, then shooed them away. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Crelet’s face, or anyone’s faces. This single experiment would get his reputation back, he was sure.
Standing by the cage, the eager Vykker stared intently at his work.

to make a guess based entirely upon your signature... Scrab with wings/additional limbs?

You'll find out in Chapter 8...

It might be so Splat... But I personally think it won't be. Scrabs don't shreik... Unless that's a variation of howling.