The Neverending Story
 

We need a thread to keep people occupied here. Too often I come in here and see that the post I made five hours before is still the most recent one. The idea is simple. There is a story. It never ends. When you post a new entry it is a good idea to write at least two sentences. You need to finish the sentence of the poster before and write a half sentence that someone else can finish. Of course, you can write more and you don't necessarily need to stick to that formula, either. I'll begin.




In the beginning there was darkness and in the darkness the void. The Lord God looked around himself and........

Decided that he never should have decided to end the universe and start from scratch, and so, he created the first animal, the.....

.....upright spoon. It draws all of it's nutrients from the bacteria in other creatures mouths as they use it to feed themselves. However, God became angry when he saw how the spoons were......

fornicating. Seeing this God decided to go against his word and start from scratch, without homosexual spoons destroying his creation. He started again and made the world from...

.....abandoned ET Atari cartridges. It was a confusing and difficult life for those who lived on this brave new world. They were always falling into deep pits and.....

...being chased by mysterious sprites with shadowy agendas. Little did they know these sprites were not of the world, but born from the terrifying Void of....

...eternity where renegade spoons, under protection from the mysterious Spoonguard and escaping on the back of a giant waffle seeked to exact vengeance against their homophobic deity. The spoons nefarious scheme was to gather...

Playgirl and Playboy subscribations from the denotated world of Earth and pass them among the corresponding gender. As prints of the magnzines were pressed among the spoons, they reaction was....

Beyond comprehension, unsure of what to do, they prayed, alerting god to their last surviving ranks and using their lifeless corpses to fill the pits on the earth made of ET cartridges, which began to....

.....Warp the space-time continuum, and as such the world was destroyed by a massive wormhole, and only some survived by fleeing through a smaller wormhole to....

...Disneyland, shocked by the ever present cartoon horrors the refugees went mad with annoyance, kicking over trashcans and graffitiing on every public toilet in sight. The manager, enraged by these idiot vandals donned a loudspeaker and called out...

"I HAVE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION", said the man on the loud speaker. They left the park in search of the holy land. Many fell in endless pits and very few survived, but in the end it was worth it. For they had found.....

...a terrible thread that was located in the wrong part of the forum anyway. On this forum was a chap named Mutual Friend, who seemed...

(:))

Oh vanity. But srsly, what a crappy idea, OANST.

...to be the local cross dresser as he was often seen wearing a pink dress and hair curlers. The thread lived on though it was not sure for how long. A plant in the corner weeped tears over the lost...

...chastity belt, clearly labeled as hers, it had nevertheless been lost in the space behind the back of the sofa. However would she keep the men off her now? She then resolved from this day forward to...

...Make herself as unsexy as possible. Long and far Explosiator the plant travelled, before she caught sight of a fat cow furry man with moobs so mighty, he could knock out a row of armoured soldiers with one great swing. She used her Weirdoliamosis powers to switch bodies with the forsaken screwed 20 stone man, who now found himself photosynthesizing and the main attraction of the local pine cone trees. From that day forth, the two were sworn arch foes and vowed....

..to write mildly vindictive letters to eachother and never ever use grammar, this of course warranted the attention of the mod who got rightly pissed by these tossers and gave them both an infraction. The mod then sat down to check the fanfic forum but little did he know...

...about the plans of the Artist Movement, which set up a virus for any outsider who entered the fanfic forum. The virus flooded the unlucky visitors' computer with...

...Super duper triple XXX hermaphroditic vykker and slig yaoi/yuri/bisexual threesome porn. The moderator, and many others who went to investigate, dropped dead after screaming like a dying wounded numbat in a freezer. As the moderator's 3 year old brother took heir to the moderating position, one boy named Weebzeewhoo dared enter the cordoned off fanfic forum for 20 quid. When he obtained the virus, he didn't die on the spot, for he was a furry and liked the porn. He then came across the Artist Movement's diabolical plot - ....

....to create the most adorable infestation of all time, with Koala bears and....

......with magical flying pink epic lizards shooting lazars from their mouths, waiting for just the right moment to attack the evil vile xxx porn, then suddenly liamducks came raining from the sky attacking the magical flying pink lizards with there foul mouth language and there doom feather cannons, when all hope was lost something came out of the blue....

...whale of destiny and it was the great prophesied belch of late night snacking. The Liamducks and lizards were vulnerable to this foul mix of curry, dolphin and plot-holes and thus their stomachs ruptured and they...

...all caught fire and burned to the ground, thus ending this rather strange chain of events. The story continued when Alcar...

...realized that his Mods were secretly plotting to overthrow him behind his back, which wasn't that surprising when you think about it. Even so, Alcar devised a new scheme to.....

..invigorate the forumgoers to overthrow their oppressor, and so they congealed the immense, the infallible....

.....Matthew9r. The first attempt was a failure, and the hideous troll was thrown into the wilderness to die. Unfortunately, he returned many years later as the Incredible...

...Hulk Hogan, and with the shher density of his divine mustache, he crushed the mods with a force of unknown and awesome power.
And yet, some forumites decided that this was an altogether new threat, and so they unleashed...

OT: Here are some rules:
-No self gratifying stories, it ruines the funny.
-Don't repeat yourself.
-If you come into the thread and someone is already here, wait a few minutes, F5 the FUCK out of this window, and see if that person has updated the story.
-Don't use this as an excuse to settle old scores unless it is against trolls everyone hated.
-Don't quote something one person said after it has already been responded to; no arcing storylines.
-If you want to draw a picture of something someone has said because it was great, quote what they said, because otherwise you look stupid.
-No arcing into plots from games/movies/books.
-Write your entry with care and good punctuation, if someone doesn't get it, edit the fucker or say that they can continue from the entry above yours.
-You may mention other forum members in only positive ways, unless you know that will take something bad in good humour.
-Don't put your characters nobody cares about in this, I.E; The generic anime bullshit from your DeviantART account is to be left at home.
-Don't god mod something that someone else said.

The Great and Mighty Dumbo, the Disney Elephant who could fly! The elephant used its adorable figure to lure the Incredible Hulk Hogan into The Employee Lounge, only to be fall for Alcar's figure. When Alcar realized that the Incredible Hulk Hogan was into Peter's body, he....

Didn't do anything about it. He just stood there staring at...

....The now gyrating, hovering torso of the Chaos God Nurgle, the most hideous mass of decay and vile rot in the universe. Like, worse then those "The Biggest Loser" Uncut first episodes. Anyway, Nurgle spat some very putrid words from his horrific gibbering, porous mouth: